look, lady: just fricken do it.

I often have interventions with myself. I'll be trucking along having fun and suddenly I'll cut myself off from the flow with limiting self talk & actions.

"I'll do it later", or "next time", "maybe when I'm better at it", or I'll go for a nap. Classic.

HERE is a classic situation where I actually thought: I'll do it next time. Not in that epic moment where I was primed to do it....but at some uncertain time in the future. Assuming that a perfect opportunity would present itself again AND I felt the desire to do it. What the hell?

Anyway...from time to time I have to remind myself that the MOMENT is NOW. If not NOW, then when?

Really, I feel like I can handle anything. It's mostly about having the confidence in myself to follow through, or just give'er. Sometimes I wonder when I'm going to get over myself and exude that confidence every moment - to the best of my ability.

In fairness to myself, I am getting better.

But what about lapses in confidence that disrupt my flow and stop me in my tracks? What is it that needles my confidence so tauntingly? Fear. (lame). And feeling unworthy. (also lame).

What am I so afraid of anyway? Having fun? Having the best time ever? Experiencing life to the fullest? Seriously. What is my problem over here?

In her book Fierce Medicine: Breakthrough Practices to Heal the Body and Ignite the Spirit, Ana T. Forrest speaks of stalking your fear. Just turning around, staring whatever it is that I'm shitting my pants about right in the face and saying "fuck you, I'm going to do it anyway", etc.

And of course, as expected, what was scary never is as 'scary' as it seems.

In this space & time, it's important to not waste space or time. We must seize the moment and get 'er dun.

There really is no time for me (or anyone else for that matter) to indulge in low-self-esteemy ways of being.

There's just too much work to do on this planet.

pictured above: me after I performed Black Bird (Beatles) in front of an audience in LA. turns out, I like singing in front of a crowd dressed like a fashion victim.