I love you, knee

Getting double bounced on the trampoline has the cheap thrill factor, unless there's a weak point in the anterior cruciate ligament from a previous injury. Dag. That can slow down life in the fast lane in a hurry.

This reinjury, however has been an interesting point of reflection - despite the level of pain I felt, I've also enjoyed a relatively speedy recovery. This I feel is due to many things:

1) immediate attention from a skilled medical professional.

2) serious & devoted r.i.c.e (rest, ice, compress, elevate) attention.

3) using all the lotions, potions & anti-inflamatory 'meds' in my arsenal in a dedicated, acute fashion.

4) having a better state of mind (a strong, cellular level healing belief system), & more love for myself than when I originally injured my knee several years ago.

Back then, I wasn't the happiest kitty in the litter box. I did all of the above things....but that forth one was missing and it seemed like it took FOREVER for me to get my knee back to normal functioning.

It took so long that I didn't even fully appreciate how injury free I was until I was hobbling on the ground after I got off the trampoline. Geez. What a moment that was.

These days I am much more content - I love myself and wish for myself the best in life - including a radiant, healthy functional body. And I know I deserve it.

Perhaps that sounds like the bullet train to fromage-ville, but I'm convinced by my speedy recovery theory. And the pro that I was working with this time encouraged me to reflect about the energetic message this knee injury was sending me while he was manually manipulating my knee and body back into a less traumatized state.

Energy medicine is a powerful component of healing. Intergrated medicine is where it's at for speedy recovery. Mind training is is the medicine of the future.

pictured above: me and my beautiful knees, crouching to feed a roo in Oz.

dissolving 'office Krystyna'

After an intense two week break from the every day that felt more like a month, i'm back to my normal daily life....and i can feel myself leaking back into my old habits.

It just seems that I would take the experience and beauty that I've recognized in myself these past few weeks and embody it in on a cellular level - not just err to the good ole ways that aren't so good at all. Focus, focus. Momentum, momentum. Walk on the water of my life.

I have to say goodbye to my ordinary life; I've fallen in love with magic.

luminous tease

i'm going to change myself in the way I want everyone else to change.

The new me shall be more giving, more caring, more sensual, more thoughtful. I'll wear more interesting clothes that have a beautiful story sewn into their creation, and travel around the world as a career. I'll be more tolerant of everyone, even the bitches & dickheads that drive me crazy. I'll dance naked in the rain, and look in the mirror everyday and say "fuck, you're beautiful". I'll drink sunshine and eat clouds. i'll grow a garden with sunflowers, sugar snap pees and dandelions. Lots of beautiful dandelions. I'll have my own theme song, and I'll play it every time I make an entrance. i'll sleep under the stars and I'll get along with my sister. I'll teach animals to groove to the beat. I'll be surrounded by music and the quietude of nature. I'll give people a chance, and I'll give myself a chance too. I'll rock out more, and I'll sit at a desk less. i'll fall in love with myself. why not?

yeah. good plan.

Listen to We Love Machine....yum!

those grey areas

what if I confessed my love to my long-term crush? at least he'd know. Or leveled with my boss that I would rather quit my job and move to Manhattan? he'd know too. or clarify with others all those hundreds of unknowns that could be known so there'd be less wondering. more 'stake holders' would be in the loop. less guess work. more openness. mmmmmm.

what would really change, except that I wouldn't have all this stuff hanging over my head? Longing for something better...looking for greener grass. wanting, yearning. Perhaps I would just state these facts and boom - it would pass through like a satisfying meal. or wash over like morning rain. it could be akin to catching and releasing a fish. Or wearing eye glasses - finally. I would recognize what is. period.

I'm a little over "ambiguity" these days. I want clarity (of where I'm taking myself), focus (on getting myself there), power (pour forth, my dear creativity). I'd also like to spend a day - ONE WHOLE DAY - recognizing that I'm awesome. Feeling that I'm a successful person. Enjoying being me in full color rather than my depressing hues of grey.

Grey seems to be one of the most overrated colors of last season.