the last high

how it ever happened that I lived my whole life without crowd surfing I don't know...but this past Saturday @ the Pearl Jam concert I finally experienced it. i knew i wanted to...I've always wanted to...but held myself back. Next time...or it's stupid so why bother? these were the types of conversations that streamed in my head when I was rationalizing against doing what I want.

In the midst of the chaos I looked back at my friend Sabrina and she told me to go for it...and I shrugged. Then a girly girl type with a big hand bag and chunky heals turns around and says to her guy friends: "hold on", tucks her bag under arm and away she went...just like that. at that moment I knew: if she can do it I can do it. And so I went.

It felt exhilirating surrendering to the arms below me, and frankly in those brief moments I felt safer up there then I did on the ground. I still have a throbbing foot from 'down there', and only happy memories from floating above. I landed right in front of the band, and ran to the side - high fived a cop and ran up the the girly girl and thanked her for being an inspiration.

Later some dudes coaxed me to go again...and of course I did.

Crowd surfing. I get it. Finally.

mustering paradise

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if it was perfect.

I would wake up early not because I had to, but because my whole being would be so excited to be alive and get my day started that getting up would be fun. That’s right – fun!

I would gaze at the sunrise and do some yoga, go for a surf and have a nice breakfast and relax for a couple hours in the morning and allow myself to awaken and ease into the day.

I’d play with my dog and arm wrestle with my main man. I would work on my various projects that help people to blossom and make me the cash that allows me to thrive. Or maybe I’d save that for later and instead I’d go out to the forest and listen to the trees or travel to a music fest and rock out or fly my Cessna to a photographic heaven and start snapping.

The point is that I’d have options and I’d call the shots.

I’m convinced this is exactly what I can create for myself, I just have to go and fricken do it.

I do look better with a tan, so I really ought to get on this already.