spell it out & pay attention

I get many internal messages to write more. And of course the ambitious part of me thinks - yes! A book! It is my dharma to write a book!

It very well is. However, it's more about processing my life. writing it out to see what I'm really thinking about, and more - feeling. I can evaluate what's floating in my head one "unit" at a time, like looking at balloons floating around the room.

The space of the air in between the balloons is all I need to distinguish what is up in the world of me.

My fast paced life has enabled me to value my personal time to a greater degree. I have to make much more of my private moments than I might have previously.

Carpe diem, relish in my solitude when it presents itself - and get the stuff I need to do that is so vital for me done. The things I do when I have some space include meditating, yoga, hiking in the forest, reading, thinking and writing. This is what needs to happen behind the scenes for all the "showtime" moments to really shine.

For me to be my best, my calmest, my strongest, my sharpest, my slyest, my sweetest, my neatest, my most graceful - socially and physically - these are the tools I use to be there.

When these are neglected....I've noticed that the bumps are a little bumpier, and vivid colors aren't as bright.

All these valuable tools, with one in particular that I could use more.

Writing has always yielded me profound tangible results - answers that i can refer to later. A reference point.

This is perfect because I've realized that when I just let my mind flow through my fingers and let them dump into an empty word doc the realizations flow too.

The most important reference point of all flows through: gratitude. Free flow writing allows me to tune into what I'm grateful for.

It also points to perceived deficiencies. Questions like: "do I feel supported by __ at this moment?" might fall into this category.

Word processing. Literally.

It's time spent efficiently, which seems quite important right now. Yes, stop & smell the roses. Of course, always. But keep on keeping on. We can't just hang out and smell roses all day. There is a lot of work to do in this world right now. We must pay attention.

Write it out. Know what I'm feeling. Use it to propel me forward.

It's a recipe.

shown above - Andy Warhol's Silver Clouds installation at the AGA.

cycles

When I was a kid, I remember my grandma would take us to the local spring to fetch some delicious ice cold water on a hot summer day. I remember loving to do that for a number of reasons. First, I'm adventurous, so my spirit was enthused. Second, we were likely driving from somewhere "far" and kids loves breaks when it comes to long car rides. But mainly it's probably because the water in Myrnam, Alberta tasted so shitty to me, that drinking that water was like drinking from the goblet of God himself. Refreshingly tasty!

Who knew then, that my grandma was oh so naturally showing me what would become a way of life for me two decades later. She knew! Interestingly too, she was staunchly against the casual use of pharmaceuticals. I know whenever we got headaches and asked for Tylenol she told us to go for a nap. The wisest of advise! As I recall - she did take me to see the doctor when I bumped into a wasps nest and things got a little puffy & dizzy & panicky. Acute: doctor. Non-acute: nap.

Here's a pic of a pic of the spring water crew, back in the 80's (that's me in the middle):

The other day my dad and I went to collect spring water at a nearby spring he tracked down. It was a fun dad/daughter event, and an homage to my grandma. Somehow I feel she'd be stoked to see what has come of her eldest granddaughter. Represent. I'm not into baking, and I knitting never was my forte. I would attend stitch n bitches back in my mid twenties and mostly bitch. In two years I worked on the same toque (still unfinished) and a scarf that could have it's own comedy show, that's how funny it looked in the end. I still wore it. My whimsical ways allow for such fashion decisions. Dang, though. I can collect spring water like nobodies business.

And finally, it's been great getting back in my parents' & grand-parents' yards and seeing them with fresher eyes. Now when I look at plants I see the medicinal potential. Picking raspberries at my Baba's place in the sunshine is way fun....and fresh raspberries off the bush - yummy & good for you. Pick the leaves & make iced tea. I'm also drying them to add to an ethereally delicious smoke blend I'm working on. I'll let you decide what that means.

Check out my favorite cotton top (aka: Baba)!

I love the family traditions that are re-emerging. They make sense to me, and geez, considering the shitstorms that are circulating on this planet currently, that is refreshingly tasty.

family dinner

Earlier in the year, I was walking through our yard in Kauai with my friend Nathalien Mangostein. He was giving me the guided tour, which mainly consisted of him sharing the names of the fruit trees, shrubs, flowers, herbs, nuts, vines, etc that are growing around the property and what they can be used for - be it practically, medicinally or otherwise. Naturally, we nibbled each plant we came in contact with (if it was edible, of course) - a tasty tropical gastronomic tour.

At one point we were near one of the many noni trees dotted around the yard when Nathalien stopped to pick up a freshly fallen, perfectly ripened fruit.

"Let's enjoy this in the aura of the tree", he said as he bit into the fruit, and then passed it to me to try.

Standing there next to the noni tree, enjoying it's stinky fruit, feeling the gratitude, admiring the surrounding beauty - we were in union with that tree & the fruit we were eating. Even the neighbouring trees & other plants surrounding us are a part of this exchange. These sentient beings were enjoying our presence as much as we were enjoying theirs.

Research, such as the polygraph testing done by Dr. Cleve Backster found in the book The Secret Life of Plants has shown that plants are conscious beings that not only feel, but can read your mind as well.

Now that is a whole new level of magic to tune into.

It's a dinner party unlike any other. And it makes the action of praying over the food we eat that much more important. The plants know we're going to eat them before we even take a bite.

According the Backster's study's....the plants respond completely differently if thanking they're are thanked before the cooking or chowing down begins. It's really fascinating research - aka RECOMMENDED READING. The Secret Life of Plants will blow your mind.

It blows my mind how many amazing things have eluded me until now. Just think about how your life might change if you considered that your houseplants actually KNOW you.

a good day

A good day for me can consist of sleeping the day away, but waking up and going for a hike to the top of a local hill to soak in the rays of the sunset.

Something in that one action makes the rest of my seemingly low productivity day jump into the best day ever catogory. Sure I slept through the hot sunshine and the "key work hours" that everyone else seems to keep, but I did I have lucid dreams and restful sleep. Definitely worth it.

After I awake I exercise my body and finally ingest of the most nourishing food a human can take in: the lightrays of the sun just as it's setting. The sun pours forth from the horizon like honey, and I tilt my head back and drink it in. Bonus - it's easy on the digestive tract. I know. Bad joke.

There is such amazing magic in sungazing that it's simply better to experience it than talk about it. Barefoot against the earth, staring at the horizon just as the sun goes down makes it easy on the retina's and powerful for the soul. Barefoot (grounded) and sunrise/sunset timing is of crucial importance.

Can you say cosmic downloads?

After, i continue on my hike and notice all the beauty that surrounds me, hear all the animals rustling in the bush and enjoy my quietude. Alone, I feel like I'm surrounded by friends.

It's time well spent. In these moments I say to the universe: I love & respect my life. I have reverence for my time on this planet - even through a day of rest I let this be known. I cherish my body and my senses. I'm grateful for all that surrounds me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Here's a suggestion to my fellow earthly neighbours: When a day doesn't seem as productive as you'd like just go for a hike - even if it's around the block of an industrial area. Trust me, I've been there.

There is still nature intermixed with the concrete jungle. Find the beauty, feel the gratitude and turn a day into a good one, or even the best one yet.

self study

from time to time i'll take a self portrait of myself. I like observing myself and gauging how much I like myself in that photo in that moment.

What do I really look like? How do people perceive me? Can I figure this out simply by looking at myself. I'm curious.

Away from my family and friends, I don't have that intimate feedback loop coming back towards me. Maybe this is a good thing, but I still like knowing. or at least guessing.

The other day i asked a new friend if he thought I was brash. He mentioned that he thought I was direct and that some people could perceive that as brash, but he liked it. I guess it's all about which side of the fine line I land on.

And too - so what if I am brash? Perhaps a little brashness is necessary in this day in age - particularly my specific brand of it.

Does my bed head rock the house or should I brush my hair and work another angle?

Does my inner being match the face I feel should be on the outside? Am I presenting the best me i can be? After all, judgement can keep doors closed.

I would like to be in a place where people are naturally open and attracted to me and my way of being.

It's an exercise of self love, because sometimes I can be so hard myself. A picture that I don't like in a moment might be perfectly fine a few days later. Or vice versa.

Often I'm surprised. I might feel like shit and take a picture and wow myself. Or I might feel top of the world, take a picture and realized I look remarkably like I do when I haven't slept for a couple of days.

And often there are no surprises. I look exactly as I thought I might.

And then I move on to something else.

so....uncivilized?

The way we deal with our shit says a lot about our society. With all it's modern conveniences the 'west' has deemed itself civilized, but when we look at something as primal as taking a dump and how we deal with it - we really see how civilized we truly are. Looks like the loin cloth wearing pigmies of Africa might have one up on us.

Would a civilized society flush their poop back into the water they end up drinking? haha, of course they wouldn't that's just ludicrous. Oh wait. That's what we do.

After a visit to The Hostel in the Forest, and having a taste for some sustainable living - it became clear that the proper CONSCIOUS disposal of our poop can have a profound affect on the cleanliness of our environment.

If we're aware of not flushing poop with clean water down the toilet to become part of the sewage system, we are probably aware of not tossing other unfavorable things into the water simply because it's comvenient. My utopian self would like to think that we'd behave this way.

The Hostel in the Forest was great just for this solitary observation - proper shit disposal - ....because at the end of the day it was a little too "hippie" for my tastes - the people here talk a little too slow and they didn't have wifi there. I do recommend visiting if you have a chance. It's quite an idyllic little place, and it's cool that someone actually brought this from concept to reality.

Note: Internet access is important to me because it's a portal to my means. To stay at the hostel for an extended period wasn't sustainable for me. I could enjoy natures splendour - know that my crap would nourish the land at some point, and help maintain the land - pitching in with the various tasks & initiatives necessary to keep the hostel thriving - but alas it wasn't set up for me to keep taking action (via the internet) - which I feel is part of our current evolution.

It's cool to work the land, but also cool & important to connect with others via the web.

Sure it's great to unplug. But it's also great to plug in and make things happen.

Anyway....back to flushing, i guess.

I love you, knee

Getting double bounced on the trampoline has the cheap thrill factor, unless there's a weak point in the anterior cruciate ligament from a previous injury. Dag. That can slow down life in the fast lane in a hurry.

This reinjury, however has been an interesting point of reflection - despite the level of pain I felt, I've also enjoyed a relatively speedy recovery. This I feel is due to many things:

1) immediate attention from a skilled medical professional.

2) serious & devoted r.i.c.e (rest, ice, compress, elevate) attention.

3) using all the lotions, potions & anti-inflamatory 'meds' in my arsenal in a dedicated, acute fashion.

4) having a better state of mind (a strong, cellular level healing belief system), & more love for myself than when I originally injured my knee several years ago.

Back then, I wasn't the happiest kitty in the litter box. I did all of the above things....but that forth one was missing and it seemed like it took FOREVER for me to get my knee back to normal functioning.

It took so long that I didn't even fully appreciate how injury free I was until I was hobbling on the ground after I got off the trampoline. Geez. What a moment that was.

These days I am much more content - I love myself and wish for myself the best in life - including a radiant, healthy functional body. And I know I deserve it.

Perhaps that sounds like the bullet train to fromage-ville, but I'm convinced by my speedy recovery theory. And the pro that I was working with this time encouraged me to reflect about the energetic message this knee injury was sending me while he was manually manipulating my knee and body back into a less traumatized state.

Energy medicine is a powerful component of healing. Intergrated medicine is where it's at for speedy recovery. Mind training is is the medicine of the future.

pictured above: me and my beautiful knees, crouching to feed a roo in Oz.