pain? what pain?

perhaps it's because of a recent art class, but I'm looking at the monster bruise on the heel my hand and feeling awe at its beauty.

The learnings from my art class brought into my awareness the multitude of colors that are present in skin tones.

When Tessa Nunn - my oil-on-canvas teacher - described the process of painting skin it involved observing a spot of skin (with all the shadow, lighting, reflection and so forth that favors the dermis to reveal its true tones) finding or mixing that that color within my palette and then painting that one point on the canvas figure with that color.

It's the culmination of those spots that make the skin tone - no blending required. i guess that's why the Crayola coloring of my youth looked so odd. no one has an exclusively peach colored flesh tone. Duh. so obvious now.

Last night I went skating with my friend Steffi D and whoopsy daisy I 'banana peeled' right onto my left hand with a heavy thud. I fell hard, and frankly I think I'm quite fortunate that I didn't break anything.

After the endorphins wore off and the cold of the evening set in, my palm began to throb. A hot pulse surged behind chilled skin. fast forward to today, and it really just looks more traumatic that it is. mostly it's just a gorgeous bruise with amazing colors - not unlike a romantic sunset or the snow glow @ dawn.

Looking down at my hand - focusing in on a point finding new shades and hues and splotches - I feel inspired to paint this beautiful boo-boo before it quickly heals away.

Who knew a bruise could be so entertaining?

Pablo, my soul twin

Pablo Picasso once said "I am always doing things I can't do, that's how I get to do them. " I think that's an accurate reflection of the way I operate...because for someone who feels firmly wedged into the humdrum 9-5 bump & grind money trap I sure do a lot of fun & exciting things. Wouldn't it just be great though if my mind didn't feel that way, I still did tonnes of fun & exciting things, just more frequently?

The other day, when I was fretting about finances I decided that every time my head went into that space I would automatically stop that thought right there and say to myself: how can I bring more abundance into my life? And then wait for an answer. The first time I did it I happened to be fussing in my head while filling up my gas tank. After my mini-mind-intervention silence followed and then it dawned on me: buy a lotto ticket. It just so happens that I won $10 from that ticket.

Is buying lotto tickets my ticket to the gravy train? I believe it is one of the infinite tickets to the life of my dreams. More importantly though, is noticing that when i stop worrying and start creating (or being open to ideas and taking action upon these ideas) that abundance (often in the form of money) flows into my life. Even small increments count, in my opinion.

That works perfectly with my plan of doing all those things I can't.

still in love

It seems appropriate to publically serenade chocolate, since it's been so good to me all these years - specifically raw chocolate...which has brought my adoration for this nut to a whole new level.

It just keeps giving and giving and giving, without expecting anything in return. It opens my heart and my mind and it inspires me to be the best me I can be every time I'm around it. Plus it's friggen totally good & healthy for me. Bonus! It's no wonder I bat my eyelashes every time I'm around this yummy rich goodness.

Nutritionally, David Wolfe sums it up nicely in this short video.

Avocado on Raw Cacao

Mmmm. Natures medicine.

dear universe: style me!

One of my life goals is to have a personal stylist. Someone that I consult with on a regular basis on what looks best on me, what my image is communicating, where I want to take my hair, etc, etc.

Why do celebrities often look so dang ingenious with their looks? They've paid someone to help then get there. In the classic work smarter not harder mantra - the savvy celebrity let's someone else do the thinking for them.

And I'm convinced that good style makes others happy and incites them to find their own stylespiration. Even with all my hippy tendencies, watching Anna Wintour & Grace Coddinton work their magic amidst the fashion world in The September Issue (of Vogue) was completely inspiring. NYC here I come. I also like that I'm more excited than ever to look my best while keeping my values close: not spending frivolously or purchasing trendy, disposable clothing; opting for natural, organic, sustainable fabrics that feel good against my skin as often as possible, buying second hand or consciously made items...choosing items that have at least a 50-50 fashion-function ratio. it just makes sense!

I've always loved fashion, and while for the most part I've tamed the consumerist beast that ruled me from deep within for so many years...i still want to look good, I still enjoy taking part in the textile expression. The right hair, outfit, shoes and attitude can make an ordinary day extraordinary.

This morning my sister - who's gifted in the style area- took it upon herself to 'style' me. She took my style, tweaked it...and the rest of the day flowed like an ormus filled spring from the mountain earth. Complements, synchronicities, synergies ensued.

Coincidience? I think not.

And it's nice to know that my goal isn't even that far out of reach.

my modern ark

The other day my mind drifted to a piece of land my family owns out in the middle of somewhere. It's a lovely parcel of earth, with rolling trees & brooks and deer & bunnies. What's not to like, really. It's one of those 'things' in my life that I like knowing is there...even though I can't say i've used it that much. I remember my dad took my sis and I cross country skiing there once upon a time.

When I thought of our familial soil the idea to build an Earthship came to my mind. And of course I went to someday not too many thoughts after. An impromptu google search later and I find that with the proper course of action I could be pretty much good to go and living in my very on earthship on my grandpa's ole farm in 8 life changing weeks. Or at least have a place to retreat to every now and then.

And the modern ancient technology that is required to build these structures inspires me to get back to my ancestral roots and life off the land with modern conveniences. As it's said: Amateurs built the Ark, professionals built the Titanic

Sure it's not basking in mountainous glory, but I've seen the sunsets out there...and this place beholds the quiet beauty akin to the serious actor vs celebrity or the nerd next door vs the obviously 'cool', popular kid.

Yep. Gotta manifest me an Earthship. Might need to sail away soon.

embracing my inner hick

there came a point not too long ago when I realized that I not only am I not New York socialite material - it's actually cool that I'm my own brand of me. Sure I might not be as refined or well read as I'd prefer...but it seems that what I've got going on might actually be better for the planet than if i was any other way.

Maybe it's better that I like riding in trucks and banjo solos and camping and I prefer my men handsome & handy log driver types rather than doctor-merchant-lawyer varieties. Perhaps it's preferable that I eat out of the pot and lick the bowl clean rather than holding back for fear of being judged a lil' piggy. Maybe rocking zits n freckles & rogue hair is refreshing in a world that revers porcelain skin and silken locks.

I recall spending an evening with a Rhodes scholar law student and his wealthy merchant father one evening at a friends place in Montréal. She made some sort of eggplant dish, and Monsieur Rhodes was delighted with my friends preparation of Aubergines. "yes, these aubergines are delicious", I chimed in. "You don't have to call them aubergines, you know", he scoffed... referring to my eggplant upbringing. At the time i was a touch taken back but still rolled with it. I mean, I can spot a weiny a mile away - so I just raised my brow and walked on.

In the end, I ate the $90 petite box of chocolate his father brought over for dessert right before his eyes, and I commend myself for showing those two how to enjoy the evening (and still keep my figure!!). Embrace the guests, and enjoy luxurious confections to the max.

I suppose that while I'm quite rough n tumble in some ways, I'm progressive in others - like adopting a non-harming vegetarian diet, embracing my femininity and working to evolve planetary consciousness by sorting and moving through my own emotional crap.

My pursuit of superhero status began with disliking myself and trying to be someone else; my superhero being will realize itself when I absolutely love who I am and let all my über essence shine through. Slowly but surely and more and more I am embracing that point.

the cacao activation process

I ate a copious amount of raw cacao during the weekend...in addition to many other super star foods like mulberries & raw honey & mesquite & lucuma & almonds & vanilla bean caviar fresh from papa new guinea. exciting exotic ingredients with intoxicating aromas and titillating tastes.

This past Saturday I was at a raw chocolate making workshop put on by Malcolm Saunders where we got hands on experience in the cacao craft. It was super fun and it's so damn simple i can't believe I've never even made my own chocolate before. Ridiculous!

After the teaching and the tastings...covered in cacao powder and vanilla dust I realized that I felt absolutely HIGH off food. Surrounded by my fellow chocolate makers, us babes were giggling and playing like children in a park after a couple of hits off the bong. A stark contrast to my persnickety grumpy self earlier that week.

Am I what I eat? I AM what I eat.

Last night too, after desserting with another batch of my home made raw chocolate bar jammed packed with exotica I laid in my bed buzzing. My whole body vibrated - not in the jostled caffeinated way...but in an activated way - as though I've tapped into a reserve that was waiting for me if i just figured out the code.

Chocolate had always had an effect on me...but now i'm delving into deeper territory. Now I'm creating my own with the best ever ingredients, intention & love. Now I'm properly dosing myself.

this is my kind of medicine.

ode to fridge magnets

a day & a drink to believe in

slowly, between like minds

smile through a fight

a dark joke & a light dinner

share this silent idea

composed in my apartment by me and a bf from times past .

My ADHD: Attention Drawn to a Higher Dimension

Recently at a super awesome David Wolfe event I attended in Cowtown I learned many profound things surround the following concept: the subtle energy of your food becomes your mind. I forget who’s words those are (Einstein?) but they’re fricken genius (obviously).

These words charge the passion that stirs within me...as the quality of my food (and water and thoughts for that matter) have been swirling in my consciousness for years now. That I understand and recognize these subtle energies shows that I've accepted this level of awareness into my being. Every choice that I make is articulated by that concept. And...communicating this message to others has become important to me...although I'm not sure how effective my efforts have been. I might have to work on my strategies, tactics & delivery.

I do wonder what space an individual's heart & head has to be in to accept the notion of the subtle energies of food affecting their mind. I've talked to my family about these things for example...and to a certain extent they seem to logically understand. Yet their actions speak louder than words - still choosing to consume fast food, conventionally grown produce & meat and packaged goods, etc. which don't exactly contain the subtle energy of illumination. Clearly there's a disconnect.

I truly want to understand this disconnect better but I guess this is where I lose my steam - if the subtle energy of food resonated with them their choices would be different. I don't want to judge - that doesn't help...but then I don't want to eat those foods either when they're served up at celebrations, etc. To me, they're GROSS. Disgusting really. So 80's, and not the part of the 80's worth reviving for the sake of style & entertainment.

Of course, they think what I eat is just plain weird too...but I'm just going to stick with it. At some point I know things are going to start smelling like roses for me all the time. On some dimension they already do. I just gotta tap into it. Meanwhile, until then, I'll relish in the fact that I'm harnessing the energy of the best food available and let my mind sort out the rest.

new school orange julius

Refreshing & delicious, this new age orange julius goes great with those lingering childhood memories of strolling through the mall on weekends or of hanging out in the food court after school acting all bad-ass n'shit.

1 cup fresh squeezed orange juice

1 tbsp best ever raw, wild crafted honey

1 tbsp Hemp Seeds

1 tsp raw ground vanilla beans

1 tbsp coconut oil

½ ripe banana

½ cup spring water

handful of ice

Blend until smooth, pull up a hammock, and enjoy.

thanks malcolm saunders for the inspiration.

el healing crisis-o

hmmm. for someone who advocates a healthy lifestyle, i sure find myself sick often. Just this week - after spending a week at a seminar eating less then preferred food (despite my best efforts), sitting in air conditioning and sleeping less than normal & traveling via airplane I find myself on the lip of a sinus-y mucous wave. Sure last week was challenging, but shouldn't my immune system be super charged for these exact events?

Beyond my super sensitivity to 'the norm', I feel I should be at a place where my immune system has got my back any day of the week. Ugh. there's that word - should.

In other words I aim to feel awesome everyday - I spring out of bed and all is dandy. And yet here I am...just a few weeks since my last bought of grossness. It makes me wonder, if my diet is in check for the most part, is it my environment that's not serving me? is it my emotions? my thoughts? perhaps I'm allergic to my job.

I want to radiate health always - I don't have the time for illness frankly. And being that I'm ridiculously open minded, I've tried EVERYTHING. From the best pills the pharmacy has to offer to the finest wildcrafted organic superfoods. There doesn't seem to be a cure all for me. Perhaps I have an underlying belief system - it works for everyone but me. Reflecting on my whole life...I have to wonder what the reach is for this belief system of mine - in terms of money, relationships, health - do I genuinely feel that 'it works for everyone but me'? I digress. We could discuss that for a week easily.

Of course, I could just accept this illness with open arms - allowing this purge to happen and recognizing that it's 'better out than in" and perhaps this ebb now will prevent a tsunami in the future. Oh thank you stuffy nose and nasty cough for expelling yourself from my system - making room for all the love, light, success and boundless energy I desire.

turns out: no one likes needy.

When it comes to being attractive to the opposite sex, does confidence trump nose jobs, weight loss and brand name clothes? I’m inclined to say that it does.

Although if you had great confidence AND THEN got a nose job, lost some weight and got a ‘what not to wear’ style make over – these could really made a person ridiculously delicious. Perhaps this is what makes a rock star.

Anyway…

According to self proclaimed expert Mirabelle Summers, bone fide personal acceptance & love is all you need to attain to be über attractive to the opposite sex. Too bad you can’t buy this eau de “I am worthy” in a bottle at Neiman Marcus for $150. Cheap! Nope, the kind of confidence that's based on a genuine acceptance of yourself comes from the courage of doing ‘inner work’ on a daily basis, and knowing you’re awesome just the way you are.

Let’s break it down. We all know that:

• People who are insecure are unattractive and needy. Red alert! It’s interesting how they project themselves to others and almost encourage others to continue treating them in the way they see themselves. It’s wacky.

• Most people live their daily lives out of fear and anxiety, believing that if they can just get X to happen (make a million dollars, get that biker boyfriend, lose twenty pounds), those negative feelings will go away and they'll be 'happy'.

• But…if a person is fearful and anxious this is simply a reflection of themselves and how they habitually deal with the world, not a reflection of what's happening in their life. Woo-woo. It’s starting to get deep over here!

• Until a person changes how they deal with themselves at a root level, they will never be able to change those behaviors and will continue to be at the mercy of insecurity and anxiety. Ew!

• And this spiral of negative emotions highlights their insecure behavior – especially around those lovelies that they want to snuggle with or get closer to - poisoning their ability to create lasting, fulfilling, and healthy relationships. Oh oh.

• When actions are motivated by insecurity and anxiety, this shows through to the quality of beings (or lack of beings) in a person’s life ... usually in the form of validation-seeking (tell me I’m beautiful – please?) relationships and verifies that yucky feeling of lack. Needless to say, this usually drives quality people away (ie NOT a chick or dick magnet).

• The only way an individual can take care that their behavior is consistently coming from their confident higher self is to deal with insecurity at the root. That line in Jerry Maguire when Jerry says “you complete me” is bullshit. A person completes themselves. In other words, the man or woman of your dreams won’t make you happy until you’re just plain ole happy all by yourself. Yep.

Once this happens, all the anxious-insecure-fear tainted behaviors these peeps weren’t even aware of vanish like a Criss Angel illusion. Instead, you’ll find a person that exudes an innate strength and certainty that not only draws positive situations and people into their lives, but that the opposite sex finds oh so sexy.

Well shit…that’s almost as easy as buying some ‘eau de I love myself’ at Neiman Marcus. Thank Gawd I’m totally confident. Phew.

that's enough ying yang for me, thank you

earlier my coworker Brent was sharing with me how he stumped the entire staff with one of his relentless string of questions: how many holes are there in a square inch of gore-tex? apparently nine billion.

I mentioned to him that when he first brought up his stump-ability I thought he'd asked a question like "how old would you be if you didn't know how old you were". he looked at me and scoffed. "that's not even worth answering". ha!

Later he passed by my office and I egged him on again. "so Brent...how old would you be? if you didn't know how old you were?". He leaned on my doorway for a few moments and kept repeating the question to himself over & over. "that's easy. you wouldn't even know".

"So you're saying you'd be ageless?"

"yeah."

"cool. I can dig it."

and that's when he walked away mumbling the inspirational title for this post.

it was awesome.

the eye of the storm

the flavor of this week: hurricane. fast paced. varied. action oriented. lots of 'new' stuff. Externally, lots of stuff has been going on. Internally, my mind is going ape shit.

As such, I've been super aware of bringing myself back to centre. Walks, yoga, running, 'quiet time', meditation, sleep - naps. Mmmm. All so important while all this shape-shifting is going on. Now it's crazy. soon it will have more of a metamophasis flavor. perhaps libertation. transformation? fingers crossed!!

but for now it's crazy.

that's ok.

the last high

how it ever happened that I lived my whole life without crowd surfing I don't know...but this past Saturday @ the Pearl Jam concert I finally experienced it. i knew i wanted to...I've always wanted to...but held myself back. Next time...or it's stupid so why bother? these were the types of conversations that streamed in my head when I was rationalizing against doing what I want.

In the midst of the chaos I looked back at my friend Sabrina and she told me to go for it...and I shrugged. Then a girly girl type with a big hand bag and chunky heals turns around and says to her guy friends: "hold on", tucks her bag under arm and away she went...just like that. at that moment I knew: if she can do it I can do it. And so I went.

It felt exhilirating surrendering to the arms below me, and frankly in those brief moments I felt safer up there then I did on the ground. I still have a throbbing foot from 'down there', and only happy memories from floating above. I landed right in front of the band, and ran to the side - high fived a cop and ran up the the girly girl and thanked her for being an inspiration.

Later some dudes coaxed me to go again...and of course I did.

Crowd surfing. I get it. Finally.

when life gives you lemons

make lemonade. duh!

i heart summer lemonade

• 1 liter spring water or 1 ice cube tray
• 8 organic lemons sliced in half
• 1/4 cup agave nectar

blend & garnish with fresh lemon zest.

easy!

this old-school classic gets a new twist with agave nectar (or your own favorite raw sweetener).
It is fun to make and goes down sooooo good.

Another option: pop the mixture into the freezer for a bit and then spoon the slush into cups.

For pink lemonade just add a few raspberries & a couple sprigs of mint to the blender, and voila! hardcore delicious.

thanks shannon leone for recipe inspiration!

www.rawmom.com

a free bird?

My life seems to go through weekly or monthly themes. Currently, I'm going through a spell of learning how to focus. Or practising 'focus'. or just focusing. Why is it so hard for me to just do one thing at a time?

One of my recent life teachings illuminated this truth: I am way more powerful when i'm living in the present moment than frittering about the past or future. In the present moment, my creativity is at its peak; my higher self undeniably resides in the here & now. And I think my attention-deficit ways of being are micro episodes of living in the future (specifically) - which scatters my energy. dang it.

Where my fragmented attention goes energy flows and results show. i suppose that explains my merry go round life. it's fun - but where the heck is it going?

My sister has been calling me a 'free bird' lately...because I just do what I want whenever and change my mind abruptly. And while I recognize what where she seeks security and knowing, and I crave sponteneity and freedom - perhaps she's just airing a subtle reminder my way to focus...on what I want...for a span of say 30-60 minutes at a time...and observe what happens.

Perhaps that merry go round ride would turn into something more scenic, sensory or even inter-galatic.

whoa.

the mind-gong effect of Rumi

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.

Don't go back to sleep.

You must ask for what you really want.

Don't go back to sleep.

People are going back and forth

across the doorsill where the two worlds touch.

The door is round and open.

Don't go back to sleep.
~Rumi

my magic ‘mood’ hair.

Ummm, so how can I control my life when I can't control my hair? If a ‘hair style is the final tip-off whether or not a woman really knows herself’ (Givenchy), then perhaps I’m going to have to dig deep in the next few days or weeks to get to know myself and how my hair works.

Fascinatingly, my hair days are generally a solid reflection of myself. Good hair day – all is well in Krystyna-land. Bad hair day – I’m as frazzled as my hair is frizzled. How is it that this works so accurately?

Last week I went to Wizard Training Camp www.wizardtraining.com to hone my manifestation skills, etc. I had a great time, enjoyed the processes, the fresh air, and the company of the fine, illuminated beings that were there. I’m still working to make sense of my paradigm shifting week off the grid.

Anyway, got my hair cut in Vancouver after the camp and in my sleep deprived, somewhat delirious state, I stated to my stylist that I trusted him to cut & color my hair to the best of his ability – after giving him my guidelines for what I expected. Interestingly, I feel asleep during the haircut portion of my appointment.

Fast forward a couple days when I finally wash my hair and realized that the poofyness of my hair wasn’t so much from the styling products scrunched into my hair, or a residual effect from the best day ever at Kits beach but because my hair was cut was far shorter and more layered than I realized - aaack. In other words, my current head of hair is utterly unmanageable!

Not surprisingly my week looks a lot like my hair – the color is lovely, but the style is a mash between bed head & insane asylum – and my week has been fun and filled with delightful people, but I feel weary & confused. Perhaps as I’m integrating my learning’s from last week, the chaos of my life (& hair) is surfacing only to be smoothed out in the near future where my purpose will make more sense (and my hair will be better than ever).

I trust my hair. I trust the universe.

eat junk, become junk

Probably one of my larger monthly expenses – besides all the money involved with property ownership – is my food bill. Being super choosy has its price – with money, yes – but if not money, then time, effort &/or creativity is the ‘bill’. In the past few years I’ve come to recognize that paying more for the best food available is worth the cost of acquisition.

When I consider that every molecule of what I consume is used as the building blocks for my body – i.e. becomes a part of it – the choice becomes simple. Do I want my brain to be composed of molecules from a big mac or a home grown organic garden salad with all the fixin’s?

Brillat-Savarin said: Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you who you are. When it comes to food, much of the “stuff” available to eat out there is like, EW. Far from being food, many of the products available are simply ‘edibles’ that we consume to fill our tummies. So, if we’re eating foods that technically aren’t even real – exactly who are we?

Concocted in a laboratory for maximum yield & profit or flavored for our habit-forming eating and sensory pleasure, these foods are slowly destroying our genetic make up.Yep, one meal at a time genetically modified Franken-foods, and edibles grown with fungicides, herbicides, pesticides, larvicides, antibiotics and hormones are fucking with our DNA slowly, but surely. Oh, darn.

How to get over this whole “dilemma”: pay attention. To what you eat. All the time. Michael Pollan, food researcher and author, proposes a new answer to the question of what we should eat that comes down to seven simple but liberating words: Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants. An excerpt from the first chapter of his book The Omnivores Dilemma helps to make sense of things (click here).

Reading ingredients makes this easy. If the words on the side of the box sound like something from a chemistry experiement...in reality, they are.

The best part of committing to eating the best food ever – all the time - is that food becomes an adventure. Searching out delicious, nutritious eats no matter where you are, who you're with or what time it is generally serves up the most interesting people, places and experiences. Bon appetite.

mustering paradise

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if it was perfect.

I would wake up early not because I had to, but because my whole being would be so excited to be alive and get my day started that getting up would be fun. That’s right – fun!

I would gaze at the sunrise and do some yoga, go for a surf and have a nice breakfast and relax for a couple hours in the morning and allow myself to awaken and ease into the day.

I’d play with my dog and arm wrestle with my main man. I would work on my various projects that help people to blossom and make me the cash that allows me to thrive. Or maybe I’d save that for later and instead I’d go out to the forest and listen to the trees or travel to a music fest and rock out or fly my Cessna to a photographic heaven and start snapping.

The point is that I’d have options and I’d call the shots.

I’m convinced this is exactly what I can create for myself, I just have to go and fricken do it.

I do look better with a tan, so I really ought to get on this already.

the truth about superhero-dom

Who doesn't want to fly or have super powers or transcend natural and civic laws and cultures in the name of humanity? At the very least the majority of us are superhero hopefuls in the making. It's simply a matter of stripping down to your birth suit. In other words, you're a superhero...you just aren't aware of it yet.

There's a great scene from Kill Bill, where Bill shoots Beatrix (The Bride) in the leg with a truth serum injection, and a classic monologue regarding Superman spills forth.

"Bill: Take my favorite superhero, Superman. Not a great comic book. Not particularly well-drawn. But the mythology... The mythology is not only great, it's unique.
The Bride: [who still has a needle in her leg] How long does this shit take to go into effect?
Bill: About two minutes, just long enough for me to finish my point. Now, a staple of the superhero mythology is, there's the superhero and there's the alter ego. Batman is actually Bruce Wayne, Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker. When that character wakes up in the morning, he's Peter Parker. He has to put on a costume to become Spider-Man. And it is in that characteristic Superman stands alone. Superman didn't become Superman. Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he's Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red "S", that's the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears - the glasses, the business suit - that's the costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent. He's weak... he's unsure of himself... he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race."

This monologue got me thinking about myself...and how I wear my Clark Kent couture everyday, when I really just want to wear my cape and fly around the planet helping people, kittens and other animals in distress. And how different am I really than everyone else? Is it so inconceivable that we're all hiding our cape & tights under our slacks & blazers? Me thinks yes.

And if I'm already a superhero and don't know it...all I have to do is learn the skill sets that will let me tap into my superhero-dom.

Sounds more exciting than anything I’ve watched on TV lately.

floating to flavor country

On my 'to do' list as of April 2009 - hot air balloon ride. Whilst joking with a compadre in a French restaurant, it came to my attention that a hot air balloon would probably be the best way to get to flavor country. Now being a fan of flavor country and contantly striving to find new & better ways to get there, the idea of floating there with the wind cracked my mind open. It contrasted with my usual efficient (car, plane) or etheric (mind, spirit) means of transporation.

There is something quite romantic and old fashioned about a hot air balloon ride. As I glide through the sky to get to my destination, I am privy to all sorts of information that I wouldn't otherwise be. I get to experience the quietude that comes with being high up in the air - perhaps having moments of reflection. As I reach my destination I'm blessed with a birds eye view of this place that I am seeking, see miles of beauty - bringing me another point of appreciation. Flavor country is awesome. Slowly, we land...and suspense & appetite grows. Finally we are officially there, ready to partake. Clearly, i am not alone.

Like good foreplay, the hot air balloon ride brings another level of enjoyment to an already great trip.

5-4-3-2-1: lessons from The Proc

I love people that are committed to being the best ‘thems’
they can be. Constantly striving for personal bests isn't
exactly easy. But it's also not boring.
I'm into living a life that's not boring...thus Bobby Proctor's
wisdom speaks to me.

Bobby Lesson #5: There are no limits, so don't set puny
goals. Reach further, because what you can currently
comprehend only leads to mediocre results.Our
comprehension is based on our vibration right now and
generally that's NOT where we want to be. Chew on this
one!

Bobby Lesson #4: Know what you want. Not only know
what we want right now, but know what we want after
that. Be specific and that thing will come--but only if you
can feel it deep inside. If you want incredible health, know
what it means to you and feel it inside.

Bobby Lesson #3: Find a mentor (or a few!). The Proc worked
with Earl Nightingale and Lloyd Conant and these success
greats taught him all he knew and then he went out and
applied them for himself. Choose your life, health and fitness
and finance teachers wisely and reach for the top. If someone
doesn’t have the results you’re looking for…then they’re not
good mentor material. I.e. don't listen to the fat personal
trainer who tells you what you should eat. :-)

Bobby Lesson #2: Know it will happen. One thing that has
been constant in Bob Proctor's life is that he knew something
big would happen. When *The Secret* was released at the
age of 72, he was propelled from greatness to *legendary*.
He knew it was going to happen all along. If you know your
health will be awesome, it will. If you know that you’ll meet
the perfect partner for you – you will…and so forth.

Bobby Lesson #1: Repetition creates vibration and vibration
creates results. The Proc read the same book over and over
again for 3 years. Yup, three years! He wanted to make sure
that he *got* and applied everything to get the results that
he wanted--massive success. If you want massive success in
your life, finances, relationships, health and fitness, etc then
follow this recipe: learn, learn, learn and repeat, repeat, repeat.

Oh Bobby - You just KNOW! And now…back to being the
best me I can be…

holy guacamole

I love making guac…it’s my thing. Whenever I go to a potluck or dinner or something, I will show up and make some fresh while people are enjoying their beers. It’s always well received…I do put a lot of love into it. All the mashing, chopping, slicing & dicing etc is a meditation of sorts, and I think of all the things for which I am grateful as I make it, and focus with intention on every part of the process infusing every ingredient with l.o.v.e.. It makes the diff, I’m sure.

Ingredients:

love

2 ripe haas avocado

1/2 cup lightly packed cilantro leaves, finely diced, stems discarded before measuring

freshly squeezed lemon or lime juice (1 lemon, 1-2 lime)

4 green onions (long skinny green ones – they seem to have a variety of names), finely chopped

1 roma tomato, diced (with juicey seeds removed – give that tommy a squeeze!)

a few cracks freshly ground black pepper

1/4 tsp best quality sea salt

1/4 tsp ground chipotle pepper/cayenne pepper/chili powder/or adobo sauce from a can of chipotle peppers. choose one. a little spice is nice.

Directions:

Cut the avocados in half lengthwise, remove the pits (I take my big knife and lightly tap into the pit until it catches, twist it out and discard by tapping into garbage bowl), scoop the flesh out of the skin and mash with a fork in a bowl. Adding in the lemon or lime at this point will help with the mashing.

Add remaining tomato, green onions & cilantro and blend with a fork until the mixture is just slightly lumpy. Season to perfection; let your taste buds guide you.

Serve with tortilla chips, or toasted pita that has been cut into triangles and seasoned with olive oil, sea salt and your choice herbage. Yummy.

Of course these are just guidelines…you’ll figure out your own recipe with time. The rules are there are no rules.

Oh yeah…what's the big deal about sea salt you ask? Personally, I feel it makes things taste far better then your classic iodized salt (blech!!). And, while iodized salt takes away from the body (and contributes to high blood pressure, bloating and grossness in general), a good quality sea salt will give back and nourish.

In case you’re totally intrigued to learn more click here.

I always put a tiny pinch of Celtic sea salt in my water everyday – it adds back minerals and trace elements that are essential for the bodies functioning, but are depleted through diet, lifestyle, and aging.

Back to the guacamole - if you know any guacamole haters out there, try this out on them. They'll be converts, fo shizzle!

the apple doesn't fall far...

I have my claim to many curious habits, and part of what makes these eccentricities interesting is that other members of my family share them with me - so obviously learned!

Like my dad, I'm a doodler, particularly when I'm on the phone. It's a reflex. Phone to ear, pen in hand.  I remember seeing him on a phone as a child doodling away -  and the desk where he worked was covered in doodles. Clearly, this is what a successful business man does.

Often I'll zone out and "just be" in a moment, only to look down and notice my thumbs a twiddlin'. My Baba twiddles while she "be's", whether it's while she's being driven somewhere, or observing the rest of the family in the midst of conversation. Or perhaps (like i am sometimes) she's just bored. I never thought that she was entertaining herself. Clever lady!

My mother has an affinity for shoes which I too have adopted. I've never counted the number of pairs of shoes that I currently own, but I'm sure it's close to triple digits, if not there already - and I've given many a pair away. A shoe for every occasion is a testament to our strong orientation towards details. Style maven's, we are.

My grandma had a strong aversion to pills & hospitals due to her experience, of course, and not-so-strangley so do I. Grandma would insist that our headaches didn't need 'tylenol' - that some fresh air and rest were better options - or better still - forget about it. I didn't really clue in to the sageness that came with those words until recently. Oh to speak to her now that we're on the same wavelength.  Even sweeter was how she questioned 'conventional wisdom' relentlessly, in preference to common sense or finding her own answer. 

Finally, my grandpa has a resilient tenacity about him that mirrors in myself. The past 15 years of his life were likely the most tumultuous but possibily the most fulfilling. Instead of becoming a widower, he became a gold metal track & field star. Instead of 'getting old' he kept out-younging his friends and even tired me out on the dance floor! Watching him experience considerable & consistent pain, and come out dancing on top is obviously inspirational. And I've seen that in myself...going through boughts of pain & depression and refusing to be the Debby Downer that drags people down with them - that is my everlasting tribute to my grandfather. I'd much rather inspire and delight than host pity parties. Boring.

i travel, therefore i am

Sometimes I think to myself "holy schnickey's the world is awesome!".

As I’ve grown this wonderment comes more frequently and readily – like, for example, on the way to work when I’m blasting across the river on the freeway. I notice the beauty of the riverbanks’ earth tones and the contrast of the clouds & the sky and what the city I live in looks like that day. When I experience this ‘noticing’ and I feel grateful that I am a part of this moment. But those moments weren’t always there. I had to go far away to learn to appreciate what’s close.

Going to strange places like Japan, the Ukraine or Laos tickled my mind and my senses. In these places, I had experiences that cracked my perceptions open, and I was drawn to the profound and diverse beauty of this planet.

After I started working my 9-5 job, and felt all the financial strain that cometh with the commitment to acquiring and keeping stuff, I found myself quite in a huff that (in my mind, anyway) I wasn’t able to travel. My friends were off to Tanzania or Vietnam or Spain or Jamaica or Oz and I was biking around Edmonton feeling sorry for myself.

This intense desire to leave – to be ANYWHERE BUT HERE ended up in an inward journey…of learning yoga and meditation and (by default) the art of appreciation.

And so…by surrendering to what is and enjoying what was in front of me – from eating a piece of fruit to my daily commute to work, I began to travel once again. Isn’t it better to be lost in a moment of beauty than road rage?

My desire to travel is just one of the outlets I can use to explore my curiosity and interest in the world and to discover the magnitude of my appreciation of beauty and excellence.

That said…I’m still jonesin’ for an adventure afar.

tappin’ into my inner power

Prancing around stage in a lil’ gold dress, fish net stockings and armed with a shot gun is pretty liberating.
Last night I had my tap dance debut. The dance studio that I was training with is closing their doors forever, and I took part of their last ever grand finale show after one year of study. The theme was Amusement Park, and my act was in the shooting arcade – me, my teacher Suzie and Coralee tippity tapped around stage with toy shotgun to a remix of the Los Lobos “Shot Gun” song. Cock, bang. Those suckers we’re pretty loud, I have to say.
I really wanted to perform my dance ‘perfectly’ but opted for having fun when the mistakes started surfacing. I’ve come to recognize that most people don’t recognize the fuck ups when they happen, and so it’s better to just keep tapping than admit defeat – in whatever form that comes. A big smile is a great diversion to error, in my mind.
I was a good little Buddha and practiced non-attachment to the outcome of this dance. I worked to shift my anxiety to perform into excitement to be seen and my need to be perfect into artistic expression…I have to admit that it was work to do this – but certainly worth the effort.
I like being on stage…in the spot light. Hmmmm, what next?

from the lounge of posh spice

A sophisticated sangria recipe that's sure to kick off the patio season with a splash. Courtesy of GQ.

3/4 cup brandy
1/4 cup Marie Brizard apricot brandy
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
1/4 cup raw cane sugar
1 peach or nectarine, chopped
1 plum, chopped
1 bottle red wine - (any Pinot Noir, Malbec or Cab Sav will do)

Dissolve the sugar in the liquids, then add the fruit & chill. Serve in chilled glasses with a tablespoon each of ice chips.

Goes great with a self assured attitude. Perfect for celebrating successes, big or small.

Enjoy!

the art of giving

I've been giving money to bums lately. I suppose I've been asked by them a lot more. And I've actually had the cash on hand. I've been known to respond to bums "do you take debit?" when they ask - not to be cheeky - but because it was the truth. I physically can't give what I don't have. One thing I like doing is giving them a fiver. It's more than they expect when they ask for change. The look of gratitude on their face alone is worth the transaction. I mean, expecially knowing that I would probably just spend it on a soy latte @ starbucks - which creates waste and screws with my adrenal glands - whatev's. I'd rather help a bum.
Sure, there is a strong likelihood he'll spend the money I give him on stuff that doesn't serve his higher self - but I don't live on the street - so I'm not going to judge the comforts someone seeks when they sleep on the ground and eat out of a dumpster. Neale Donald Walsh once said to open your heart to giving to those that ask...because it really is hard to ask. And he was a homeless alcoholic and he got his shit together and became way sucessful. It was the combination of his will and the donations of humans that facilitated this. Bums see life in a whole different way...and even though many of them are totally bombed on who-knows-what a good deal of the time, I can't help but wonder how much more 'connected' they are at the same time. Their worries are exclusively based in the present moment.
My dad 'happened' upon a box of Australian Viognier mini bottles - it was an exciting day until we tasted it. Meh. Not our cup of tea. So the box of vino blanco sat in the garage for months, until a big spring clean day. I volunteered to take the box down to Whyte and leave it near a dumpster where the likelihood of it being 'disposed of' properly' was high. Days later I stopped off for groceries, popped my trunk to grab my reusable bags and then (appropriately) noticed a bum hanging outside the super-marché selling his Voice magazine - which chronicles the plight of the homeless. I seized the opportunity, grabbed the heavy box from my truck and walked over to the man. "This might sound weird....but do you want a box of wine? My fam and I don't like the taste - it's yours if you want it". Well "God bless you, child", he sure did want the 24 bottles of classy, mind numbing goodness. Later after my shop I noticed him and his girlfriend pushing a shopping cart together - the box of wine its only contents - into the sunset. I imagined them having a romantic evening together, drinking wine and sharing stories - just like I do when I'm on a date.
It was a magical moment in my life - all brought to me through practicing the art of giving.

after problem comes no problem

Hi. I’m Krystyna. It’s been 835 days since my last hot dog.

I went to a T. Harv Eker talk the other night, and it was a fun, entertaining evening spent discussing ‘the economy’ - a favorite topic of convo these days. Or not. For me, hearing someone like Harv speak is a soul soothing experience. Oh phew, there are sane people out there…in abundance. It’s all about finding the place and the space to connect with them. Instead of getting another dose of the CNN (Constant Negative News) doom and gloom we got a pep talk that this time is ripe with opportunity if we open our hearts and minds to it.

How can we create our own thriving economy? Well…in a nutshell…

Be realistically optimistic. Note that an optimist, by definition, finds the best possible solution to a problem. Remember that what goes up must come down, and vice versa. The economy isn’t going to be in the toilet forever, just like it wasn’t able to soar forever. Will the economy get better? Yes. When will it bounce back? Eventually. Being an optimist is a choice, and is based in action. Negativity is based in paralysis. Ahem.

Use “what is”. Recognize that way things are and learn to distinguish opportunities versus obstacles. There is a multitude of ways to prosper no matter what is going on. All you have to do is look at how you can solve problems for people and make money while doing it. Help people = make money. It’s a beautiful equation

Have a clear strategy. Ask yourself: What’s my true intention – survival, comfort or wealth? Who am I? What’s my risk/stress tolerance? What do I know? What am I willing to learn? In short – be aware of who you are. These simple, yet loaded questions will bring clarity to your life.

Trust in yourself. Know that you will always find or create a way. This locus of control is basically your key to happiness. Write that down.

Do whatever it takes. If you’re 100% committed to success, if you’re dedicated to gettin’ er done, then you will see the corresponding results surface in your life. It is law. Hazy actions = hazy results. Isn’t math fun?

Never give up. The only person in the way of any success you are seeking in any area of your life is you. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but once you choke it down it’s very liberating.

Pursue self-mastery. In other words, take conscious control of your behavior. Consider that the way you think about money and success forever – your ‘money blueprint’ – is the product of verbal cues, modeling and specific instances from your past, involving authoritative people in your life like parents, teachers and clergy. This is good news if you grew up hearing things like “I can do great things with my money” or “you are a genius!” and bad news if you heard things like “money is the root of all evil”, or “you’ll never amount to anything”. But good news to counteract the bad news (booyah) is that simply recognizing that these ‘mental tapes’ are subconsciously playing in your head is enough to shift your mindset onto a more successful track. Awareness in itself is profound. Even better? Replace the crappy limited thinking tapes with tracks of shiny new endless possibilities. It’s worth doing the inner work to change your roots, so the fruits you grow will be that much sweeter.

The gist: this talk reiterated to me that I’m in control my own success & happiness. I can be a defensive worrier, an indifferent watcher or a go-gettin’ warrior that knows an opportunity when I see one and take the bull by the horns and position myself for success (see above). Sounds way better than what CNN is reporting.

Hot dogs suck.