she said, he heard.

George Bernard Shaw non-chalantly quoted some time ago, that the single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

I recently experienced a full on communication breakdown with my laptop taking a "break" from being usable. This little shake up made me much more sensitive to communication processes, since I had to change up the way I worked and communicated with people in a big way...

That, and a friend of mine quoted GBS when I was teaching him how to use his zapper and he still didn't get it. Why? I had assumed he had some idea of how to use it....but he didn't know at all. This would certainly change my instruction.

Assumption can KILL a seemingly well thought out articulation.

Am I truly, CLEARLY communicating what I think I'm saying? Can I find the "illusions" and efficiently fill in the gaps where information is missing?

Yesterday, a group of friends got together to attend a discussion/performance/book signing for our friend Justin Bua's latest book The Legends of Hip Hop.

Part of our posse arrived early to save some primo seats. In my communique's with the outside parties yet to arrive, I mentioned that we were in the 5th row on the right side. The others showed up, but didn't take their seats. Later it was revealed that when they saw the jackets on the empty seats in the 5th row they assumed they were taken.

The information missing from my texts was: we've saved seats for you -they'll have jackets on them. Again with the assumption. Geez.

It's amazing how such a seemingly small detail could totally alter an evening. Instead of having our the rest of our posse right next to us, they were somewhere in the back. Sure everyone had a great time....but they evening was altered.

Another miscommunique. Again, I thought I had said what I needed to...but alas, critical details were omitted. And frankly, both times the details were very simple. I guess when I assume I really do make an ASS out of U & ME. Oh god. I actually just wrote that down and didn't delete it.

It makes we wonder what other things aren't being properly communicated - simple things that could make all the difference.

Breakin' it down: simple & straight forward, no assuming. It's the best way to let people know what the fuck is going on.

pictured above: Darrel (RUN DMC) and Justin Bua rap about hip hop at the LACMA

damn you, mercury

When mercury is in retrograde, the suck factor can rise pretty quickly. One minute I'm trucking along having the best day ever, the next minute I get cold cocked in the face unexpectedly by some trivial misunderstanding.

The thing about Mercury that people who don't give shit about astrology might not understand, is that the transit of this planet has a long felt historical pattern of behavior when it's in its "retrograde" position.

This pattern is basically expressed through VERY POOR COMMUNICATION. Emails might not get sent, texts not received, whispers not heard, etc.

While this seems quite simple....poor communication is the root of so many problems that really mercury in retrograde can really fuck things up if I'm not extra diligent with my interchanges...and I'm just one part of the dialogue.  Whether they're aware of it or not the other parties are affected too.

And even when I'm extra attentive I notice that things can get hairy anyway. This is when a "good attitude" comes to play.

I suppose the best attitude is to consider the three times of year when mercury IS in retrograde as superhero training. I'll work extra diligently to keep all discourses on the up & up...so that when it's finally over I'll have sharper communication skills when things flow through the channels more easily.

Yes, that sounds nice.

rich rich rich

Through death, I’ve learned how deep the vein of my life’s abundance runs. The eulogies and life celebrations of loved ones color the tapestry of my life and help to illuminate how rich I really am.

This wealth is less about the balance in my bank account, and more about the profound gratitude that I can actually feel expand my heart. Holy shit, I can’t believe how beautiful his life was. And he was a part of my life. And I was a part of his.

My Dido (grandfather) passed away two weeks today. This man who helped raise me, who was there at pinnacle and mundane moments alike, who drove me to my soccer games and delivered homemade hot soup right to our door has checked out. Sad.

I haven’t experienced the mourning process of someone close to me since I was teenaged and my grandma passed. Now older & wiser I hardly feel more equipped to handle this death. The discomfort of impermanence is a lot to swallow.

The pain I feel is a simultaneous twisting of that intense heart expansion I mentioned and the sad emptiness that comes when someone great is gone.

However, with my years I’ve cultivated a perspective that allows death to show me not only how alive I really am, but also how much abundance is infused into my current human experience.

This feels like real wealth. Being at a funeral surrounded by the many family & friends who came to pay their respects and say goodbye; hearing the stories of how this man thrived through adversity, turning a life shaped by war into a life shaped by peace; recognizing that a man who died illiterate was still able to create a beautiful, prosperous life for his family. ETC. My God. What a role model.

Yeah, sure, it's super to be balls rich, sailing the seas on a private yacht or luxury jet-setting with my man bitches. And I’m sure that experience is available to me. But somehow that feels so superficial to the gratitude I feel for having the pleasure of knowing this great man I called Dido.

This song is dedicated to my grandfather.

above: old school. grandparents & grandchildren

look, lady: just fricken do it.

I often have interventions with myself. I'll be trucking along having fun and suddenly I'll cut myself off from the flow with limiting self talk & actions.

"I'll do it later", or "next time", "maybe when I'm better at it", or I'll go for a nap. Classic.

HERE is a classic situation where I actually thought: I'll do it next time. Not in that epic moment where I was primed to do it....but at some uncertain time in the future. Assuming that a perfect opportunity would present itself again AND I felt the desire to do it. What the hell?

Anyway...from time to time I have to remind myself that the MOMENT is NOW. If not NOW, then when?

Really, I feel like I can handle anything. It's mostly about having the confidence in myself to follow through, or just give'er. Sometimes I wonder when I'm going to get over myself and exude that confidence every moment - to the best of my ability.

In fairness to myself, I am getting better.

But what about lapses in confidence that disrupt my flow and stop me in my tracks? What is it that needles my confidence so tauntingly? Fear. (lame). And feeling unworthy. (also lame).

What am I so afraid of anyway? Having fun? Having the best time ever? Experiencing life to the fullest? Seriously. What is my problem over here?

In her book Fierce Medicine: Breakthrough Practices to Heal the Body and Ignite the Spirit, Ana T. Forrest speaks of stalking your fear. Just turning around, staring whatever it is that I'm shitting my pants about right in the face and saying "fuck you, I'm going to do it anyway", etc.

And of course, as expected, what was scary never is as 'scary' as it seems.

In this space & time, it's important to not waste space or time. We must seize the moment and get 'er dun.

There really is no time for me (or anyone else for that matter) to indulge in low-self-esteemy ways of being.

There's just too much work to do on this planet.

pictured above: me after I performed Black Bird (Beatles) in front of an audience in LA. turns out, I like singing in front of a crowd dressed like a fashion victim.

tastebud ticklers

Every once and while I'll eat something that is so delicious it's a mind fuck. What? How does this taste so good? It's ridiculous!

This happened a few weeks ago when I was swirling between California and Arizona. A lovely lady named Christina brought Avocado a gift of fresh Barhi dates.

I had heard of Barhi dates before; my friend Heidy got really excited about them when they were fresh in season and available on the internet for a slight investment. Yes, yes. Medjool's, etc are good and all....but compared to Barhi's they simply are shrivelled fruits.

And really - look at these things? Do they look like they would melt your heart with their tastiness?

Frankly I didn't get it. I mean, I like dates and all....but I truly did not understand my friends enthusiasm.

Until now.

Caramely & delicious, these dates made me go to my special place each time I had a chance to enjoy them.

It blows my mind sometimes how nature creates these foods that are so epically delicious just by themselves. Damn she is amazing. Enter slow clap here.

My point: I recommend tasting what I feel that candy makers have only tried to imitate. Nature's true caramel. Open yourself to the experience of a fresh Barhi date. Dang. You won't regret it.

flying high

I've adopted quite a few habits to keep myself healthy despite all the flying I do.

I'll wear a Schumann Resonance device like a zapper to help keep me grounded while I'm flying. I'll fly at night whenever possible to avoid the high radiation that daytime flying brings. I'll take MegaHydrate - a potent antioxidant - to keep myself hydrated and again protected from the avian elements. Further, vials of Quintessential give me a mineral intense moisture. So appreciated way up there.

My biggest challenge is water. Since I've committed to not drinking plastic water, this means that I do go thirsty sometime - particularly when I'm on a plane.

This can be challenging, because dang I get thirsty when I fly. But I know that really, anything I could consume that's provided by the plane really won't put me ahead on a hydration level.

Demineralized, reverse osmosis tap water? What the heck is that really going to do for me? Strip my body of all the good things I work so hard to put in? That's what I thought. I'm more likely adding to my toxicity level and I'm also contributing to our waste problem.

It'd be one thing if the drinks they poured on the plane were in reusable cups, but they are not.

I probably average 4 flight segments per month. If I use just one plastic cup per flight, that's 48 plastic cups per year that are used and trashed - assuming I'm on a short haul flight. This is JUST ME! Nevermind all the other people on the plane, and all the other planes & flights. And of course the water that I could drink comes from a plastic bottle - more plastic! These bottles may be recycled after they're emptied, but I don't know for sure.

And further, the water (or other beverage of choice) that comes in these bottles are loaded with xeno-estrogens and other hormone mimicking chemicals that don't do the body good.

It seems like one small thing I can do for myself & for the Mother - who selflessly gives to me each and every day. A little water fast never hurt anyone....and when I do get to my destination I make it a priority to hydrate with a liquid of considerable quality: fresh spring water harvested from the source is the best, or purchased spring water in glass. Coconut water is great too, either from a young coconut or in glass or in a tetra pack.

Those liquids are truly hydrating, and fully worth the wait.

you are important. and I am too.

It's important to remember that just because someone has more money or less money, more experience or less experience, more friends or fewer friends, more notches on their bed post or less that everyone is of the same importance and value in the eyes of God.

Now I can see people getting squeamish at my mention of God, but really fill in the blank of whatever you believe in - Source, the Universe, Allah, False Idols, whatever.

If you don't believe in anything....sorry, I can't help you.

The point is that this air of "I'm better than you" that our human race seems to thrive on is a sickness that holds us back as a collective. We boost ourselves up by putting or pushing others down and in doing so we impede ourselves from evolving as a whole.

Celebrity culture and the workplace pyramids and class differences can breed a shortfall of neighbourly respect. How about I honour your existence?

Sure, this guy might be more intelligent than that guy; but that doesn't make this guy better than that guy. It just makes him smarter. An important distinction.

If we were a collective of awakened, conscious people we'd treat all those we come in contact with reverence.

Acknowledging a beggar can a more meaningful experience for both parties than giving him money. Eye contact and a smile or a couple of quarters? I see you is worth more.

And the billionaire next door? I see him too. Hello friend, way to be.

Imagine if we all took the time to look at people in our lives. Really see them. We would see that we are the same.

As Rumi says: We are the mirror, and the face in it.

I know I have my elitist moments. I am aware of them. "I am better than you" is an exhausting attitude, and ultimately fruitless. Creating separateness doesn't feel good.

We're all in this together.

When I'm opening and accepting of all people - keeping my judgements on the back-burner - the magic of life turns on and good things flow to me. Everyone's a winner, including me.

the cairns are calling

When I was younger out hiking in the mountains, I always appreciated the cairns along the path. They were confusing at first (are people that bored that they need to build a pile of rocks in the middle of nowhere?). But then I got it.

They were objects of natural beauty, and a sign of human interaction with the landscape.

I loved the simplicity of them. A creative, strategic use of stone to show people the way. Ah, a cairn. We're on the right path.

Currently I spend a lot of time with someone who I'll dub The Cairn Master. He's built what seems hundreds of these miniliths in the forest of his property, each with its own character.

It's interesting being witness to the process. As the Cairn Master works, I hear stone grind on stone, watching the union of the rock together as they lock into place. The stones come to a marriage where they fit perfectly together and will balance there through thick & thin.

It take patience and strength to find that set point of balance. And it always comes, even with seemingly impossibly shaped stones.

When building a cairn a thought to consider: if a small animal brushes by this or a gust of wind blows while it is near the formation, will it be hurt or crushed by a tumbling cairn, or will the cairn hold it's ground? It's good to walk away with the confidence it won't easily budge.

The turn of seasons is the ultimate test for a well built cairn.

Here's a fun fact: When rocks like quartz are put under pressure, like being set between other stones in a cairn, and frequency is emitted - much like the crystals in the dial of a radio or a watch work. In this case, there is a constant pressure.

Thus, besides being a rustic art installation along the paths of many journeys, cairns naturally put out a frequency that would otherwise not be there. What or who is in resonance with this frequency? What is this frequency saying?

Regardless of the lore of cairns, they are a universal symbol of consciousness.

We were here. In a blink of time, the cairn marks a presence.

It's an honouring of passersby of past, present & future who notice... & know.

master of my own domain

At times, I find myself overviewing a just-lived scenario that could have gone better. I generally figure out the perfect thing I could have said. By perfect i mean a response that I would have been satisfied with - knowing in that moment all of my values & beliefs and heart were expressed in that oral or action transaction.

Sometimes a conversation or scenario doesn't go my way, but somehow it's absolutely perfect.

This is common, actually. I wanted the falafel, I got the avocado salad, and turns out, I LOVE the avocado salad. Falafel what?

When it's more in the "this feels really shitty, and I'm still getting a grip on why this fucking blows so much", though, it sucks.

Oh what to do? How to be? Do I get angry? Do I accept it all? Where's the perfection of it all? Is it time to bust out the "Silent Treatment"?

A silent protest. FYI: This doesn't jive with me.

How would an enlightened person handle this situation? Oh wait - let me guess. Enlightened people wouldn't have this situation come up in the first place.

Typical.

Looks how easy it is to be sarcastic in a situation like this.

I wonder if negotiation mastery, killer wit, well timed comebacks and epic retorts have a large connection to a persons ability to fully speak or express their truth in every moment. espresso.

Because gosh darn geez I would LOVE to be there.

Don't stop the party.

Look at how much fun the black eyed peas have. YAY! I'll have a serving of that.

the new monogamy

monogamy is one of those words that has a charge. perhaps it might invoke feelings of boredom, or "long term" or limited choice.

looking up the definition of monogamy on dictionary.com does turn on the gag meter slightly. It just seems so old hat, just like that expression.

The actual marriage part of monogamy aside, there are parts I am attracted to. Less about "until death do us part", the idea of being fully present with someone in a given moment has a monogamous vibe to it.

This monogamousness can apply to both romantic & non-romantic relationships.

We invite monogamous moments into our life, particularly when we're with someone special. And by special I mean holy. Less a long term commitment, and more showing respect & reverence for the person we're with at that time. Hey, I like you. I'm going to honour you while we're sharing a space together.

It's so simple. And it makes everyone involved feel so good!

Instead of slutting around texting other people while I'm in conversation with someone, for example, I'm giving them my full attention.

This is a challenge - being present for someone in the midst of cyber interruptions, and other temptations. This is what makes the concept of monogamy of the moment (as I like to call it) that much more special.

Sure at some point I'll have to turn my attention to others. After all the only sure thing in life is change.

But in the moment we're respectfully sharing it together whole heartedly.

The new monogamy is about loving the one you're with and giving them your full attention, even if it's just for a weekend.

spell it out & pay attention

I get many internal messages to write more. And of course the ambitious part of me thinks - yes! A book! It is my dharma to write a book!

It very well is. However, it's more about processing my life. writing it out to see what I'm really thinking about, and more - feeling. I can evaluate what's floating in my head one "unit" at a time, like looking at balloons floating around the room.

The space of the air in between the balloons is all I need to distinguish what is up in the world of me.

My fast paced life has enabled me to value my personal time to a greater degree. I have to make much more of my private moments than I might have previously.

Carpe diem, relish in my solitude when it presents itself - and get the stuff I need to do that is so vital for me done. The things I do when I have some space include meditating, yoga, hiking in the forest, reading, thinking and writing. This is what needs to happen behind the scenes for all the "showtime" moments to really shine.

For me to be my best, my calmest, my strongest, my sharpest, my slyest, my sweetest, my neatest, my most graceful - socially and physically - these are the tools I use to be there.

When these are neglected....I've noticed that the bumps are a little bumpier, and vivid colors aren't as bright.

All these valuable tools, with one in particular that I could use more.

Writing has always yielded me profound tangible results - answers that i can refer to later. A reference point.

This is perfect because I've realized that when I just let my mind flow through my fingers and let them dump into an empty word doc the realizations flow too.

The most important reference point of all flows through: gratitude. Free flow writing allows me to tune into what I'm grateful for.

It also points to perceived deficiencies. Questions like: "do I feel supported by __ at this moment?" might fall into this category.

Word processing. Literally.

It's time spent efficiently, which seems quite important right now. Yes, stop & smell the roses. Of course, always. But keep on keeping on. We can't just hang out and smell roses all day. There is a lot of work to do in this world right now. We must pay attention.

Write it out. Know what I'm feeling. Use it to propel me forward.

It's a recipe.

shown above - Andy Warhol's Silver Clouds installation at the AGA.

cycles

When I was a kid, I remember my grandma would take us to the local spring to fetch some delicious ice cold water on a hot summer day. I remember loving to do that for a number of reasons. First, I'm adventurous, so my spirit was enthused. Second, we were likely driving from somewhere "far" and kids loves breaks when it comes to long car rides. But mainly it's probably because the water in Myrnam, Alberta tasted so shitty to me, that drinking that water was like drinking from the goblet of God himself. Refreshingly tasty!

Who knew then, that my grandma was oh so naturally showing me what would become a way of life for me two decades later. She knew! Interestingly too, she was staunchly against the casual use of pharmaceuticals. I know whenever we got headaches and asked for Tylenol she told us to go for a nap. The wisest of advise! As I recall - she did take me to see the doctor when I bumped into a wasps nest and things got a little puffy & dizzy & panicky. Acute: doctor. Non-acute: nap.

Here's a pic of a pic of the spring water crew, back in the 80's (that's me in the middle):

The other day my dad and I went to collect spring water at a nearby spring he tracked down. It was a fun dad/daughter event, and an homage to my grandma. Somehow I feel she'd be stoked to see what has come of her eldest granddaughter. Represent. I'm not into baking, and I knitting never was my forte. I would attend stitch n bitches back in my mid twenties and mostly bitch. In two years I worked on the same toque (still unfinished) and a scarf that could have it's own comedy show, that's how funny it looked in the end. I still wore it. My whimsical ways allow for such fashion decisions. Dang, though. I can collect spring water like nobodies business.

And finally, it's been great getting back in my parents' & grand-parents' yards and seeing them with fresher eyes. Now when I look at plants I see the medicinal potential. Picking raspberries at my Baba's place in the sunshine is way fun....and fresh raspberries off the bush - yummy & good for you. Pick the leaves & make iced tea. I'm also drying them to add to an ethereally delicious smoke blend I'm working on. I'll let you decide what that means.

Check out my favorite cotton top (aka: Baba)!

I love the family traditions that are re-emerging. They make sense to me, and geez, considering the shitstorms that are circulating on this planet currently, that is refreshingly tasty.

family dinner

Earlier in the year, I was walking through our yard in Kauai with my friend Nathalien Mangostein. He was giving me the guided tour, which mainly consisted of him sharing the names of the fruit trees, shrubs, flowers, herbs, nuts, vines, etc that are growing around the property and what they can be used for - be it practically, medicinally or otherwise. Naturally, we nibbled each plant we came in contact with (if it was edible, of course) - a tasty tropical gastronomic tour.

At one point we were near one of the many noni trees dotted around the yard when Nathalien stopped to pick up a freshly fallen, perfectly ripened fruit.

"Let's enjoy this in the aura of the tree", he said as he bit into the fruit, and then passed it to me to try.

Standing there next to the noni tree, enjoying it's stinky fruit, feeling the gratitude, admiring the surrounding beauty - we were in union with that tree & the fruit we were eating. Even the neighbouring trees & other plants surrounding us are a part of this exchange. These sentient beings were enjoying our presence as much as we were enjoying theirs.

Research, such as the polygraph testing done by Dr. Cleve Backster found in the book The Secret Life of Plants has shown that plants are conscious beings that not only feel, but can read your mind as well.

Now that is a whole new level of magic to tune into.

It's a dinner party unlike any other. And it makes the action of praying over the food we eat that much more important. The plants know we're going to eat them before we even take a bite.

According the Backster's study's....the plants respond completely differently if thanking they're are thanked before the cooking or chowing down begins. It's really fascinating research - aka RECOMMENDED READING. The Secret Life of Plants will blow your mind.

It blows my mind how many amazing things have eluded me until now. Just think about how your life might change if you considered that your houseplants actually KNOW you.

a good day

A good day for me can consist of sleeping the day away, but waking up and going for a hike to the top of a local hill to soak in the rays of the sunset.

Something in that one action makes the rest of my seemingly low productivity day jump into the best day ever catogory. Sure I slept through the hot sunshine and the "key work hours" that everyone else seems to keep, but I did I have lucid dreams and restful sleep. Definitely worth it.

After I awake I exercise my body and finally ingest of the most nourishing food a human can take in: the lightrays of the sun just as it's setting. The sun pours forth from the horizon like honey, and I tilt my head back and drink it in. Bonus - it's easy on the digestive tract. I know. Bad joke.

There is such amazing magic in sungazing that it's simply better to experience it than talk about it. Barefoot against the earth, staring at the horizon just as the sun goes down makes it easy on the retina's and powerful for the soul. Barefoot (grounded) and sunrise/sunset timing is of crucial importance.

Can you say cosmic downloads?

After, i continue on my hike and notice all the beauty that surrounds me, hear all the animals rustling in the bush and enjoy my quietude. Alone, I feel like I'm surrounded by friends.

It's time well spent. In these moments I say to the universe: I love & respect my life. I have reverence for my time on this planet - even through a day of rest I let this be known. I cherish my body and my senses. I'm grateful for all that surrounds me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Here's a suggestion to my fellow earthly neighbours: When a day doesn't seem as productive as you'd like just go for a hike - even if it's around the block of an industrial area. Trust me, I've been there.

There is still nature intermixed with the concrete jungle. Find the beauty, feel the gratitude and turn a day into a good one, or even the best one yet.

self study

from time to time i'll take a self portrait of myself. I like observing myself and gauging how much I like myself in that photo in that moment.

What do I really look like? How do people perceive me? Can I figure this out simply by looking at myself. I'm curious.

Away from my family and friends, I don't have that intimate feedback loop coming back towards me. Maybe this is a good thing, but I still like knowing. or at least guessing.

The other day i asked a new friend if he thought I was brash. He mentioned that he thought I was direct and that some people could perceive that as brash, but he liked it. I guess it's all about which side of the fine line I land on.

And too - so what if I am brash? Perhaps a little brashness is necessary in this day in age - particularly my specific brand of it.

Does my bed head rock the house or should I brush my hair and work another angle?

Does my inner being match the face I feel should be on the outside? Am I presenting the best me i can be? After all, judgement can keep doors closed.

I would like to be in a place where people are naturally open and attracted to me and my way of being.

It's an exercise of self love, because sometimes I can be so hard myself. A picture that I don't like in a moment might be perfectly fine a few days later. Or vice versa.

Often I'm surprised. I might feel like shit and take a picture and wow myself. Or I might feel top of the world, take a picture and realized I look remarkably like I do when I haven't slept for a couple of days.

And often there are no surprises. I look exactly as I thought I might.

And then I move on to something else.

so....uncivilized?

The way we deal with our shit says a lot about our society. With all it's modern conveniences the 'west' has deemed itself civilized, but when we look at something as primal as taking a dump and how we deal with it - we really see how civilized we truly are. Looks like the loin cloth wearing pigmies of Africa might have one up on us.

Would a civilized society flush their poop back into the water they end up drinking? haha, of course they wouldn't that's just ludicrous. Oh wait. That's what we do.

After a visit to The Hostel in the Forest, and having a taste for some sustainable living - it became clear that the proper CONSCIOUS disposal of our poop can have a profound affect on the cleanliness of our environment.

If we're aware of not flushing poop with clean water down the toilet to become part of the sewage system, we are probably aware of not tossing other unfavorable things into the water simply because it's comvenient. My utopian self would like to think that we'd behave this way.

The Hostel in the Forest was great just for this solitary observation - proper shit disposal - ....because at the end of the day it was a little too "hippie" for my tastes - the people here talk a little too slow and they didn't have wifi there. I do recommend visiting if you have a chance. It's quite an idyllic little place, and it's cool that someone actually brought this from concept to reality.

Note: Internet access is important to me because it's a portal to my means. To stay at the hostel for an extended period wasn't sustainable for me. I could enjoy natures splendour - know that my crap would nourish the land at some point, and help maintain the land - pitching in with the various tasks & initiatives necessary to keep the hostel thriving - but alas it wasn't set up for me to keep taking action (via the internet) - which I feel is part of our current evolution.

It's cool to work the land, but also cool & important to connect with others via the web.

Sure it's great to unplug. But it's also great to plug in and make things happen.

Anyway....back to flushing, i guess.

I love you, knee

Getting double bounced on the trampoline has the cheap thrill factor, unless there's a weak point in the anterior cruciate ligament from a previous injury. Dag. That can slow down life in the fast lane in a hurry.

This reinjury, however has been an interesting point of reflection - despite the level of pain I felt, I've also enjoyed a relatively speedy recovery. This I feel is due to many things:

1) immediate attention from a skilled medical professional.

2) serious & devoted r.i.c.e (rest, ice, compress, elevate) attention.

3) using all the lotions, potions & anti-inflamatory 'meds' in my arsenal in a dedicated, acute fashion.

4) having a better state of mind (a strong, cellular level healing belief system), & more love for myself than when I originally injured my knee several years ago.

Back then, I wasn't the happiest kitty in the litter box. I did all of the above things....but that forth one was missing and it seemed like it took FOREVER for me to get my knee back to normal functioning.

It took so long that I didn't even fully appreciate how injury free I was until I was hobbling on the ground after I got off the trampoline. Geez. What a moment that was.

These days I am much more content - I love myself and wish for myself the best in life - including a radiant, healthy functional body. And I know I deserve it.

Perhaps that sounds like the bullet train to fromage-ville, but I'm convinced by my speedy recovery theory. And the pro that I was working with this time encouraged me to reflect about the energetic message this knee injury was sending me while he was manually manipulating my knee and body back into a less traumatized state.

Energy medicine is a powerful component of healing. Intergrated medicine is where it's at for speedy recovery. Mind training is is the medicine of the future.

pictured above: me and my beautiful knees, crouching to feed a roo in Oz.

Curb your Consumerism

It's an interesting phenomenon going shopping cash in hand, surrounded by beautiful things but also the knowingness that there really is no point in purchasing any item unless it's absolutely perfect - because I'll have to physically carry it with me in my suitcase until i wear it out or give it away. It's easy to say NO since this is the case.

I've said NO so so many sweet articles of clothing, jewellry & boots - oh the beautiful boots. Sandals too. Sigh.

The other day I was walking down Queen Street West in Toronto, going into the various shops....and I had this moment of satisfaction as I was walking through Lavish & Squalor. They had many lovely articles of clothing there, and in fact their second floor reminded me of the Rag & Bone store in Soho. (aka AWESOME). If you haven't been...just go.

It had been a great day of shopping - mostly just looking at what's "in", and I just realized that we've come a long way in terms of fashion. Today, a pair of casual pants in a regular store in a touristy area tickles the senses in a way that was unimaginable just ten years ago. Interesting is IN. This is good news.

The second realization I had, was that wouldn't it be amazing if we as humans developed our emotional intelligence as fast as we developed our fashion intelligence? Great style is available to EVERYONE now. It's there for you and me. We can easily acquire and wear it. Emotional awareness, however, that's another story.

I watched Sharkwater the other evening, and let me tell you - the humans who were featured in this movie cutting off the fins of sharks and then tossing the live sharks back into the water to suffocate & drown are definitely NOT showcasing the pinnacle of human development.

I'm embarrassed on behalf of the human race. Imagine if we'd put as much energy into the care & reverence of our animal friends (and fellow human beings for that matter) as we do with our material adornment.

Imagine if we were that emotionally developed that it was a casual thing - expected. A non-issue. Just like walking down QSW and having my fashion senses tickled. I would just look around at some random point in my life and marvel how wonderful we are.

WOW. If that were the case, if I were from another one I think I'd like to visit this planet.

i just want to be pretty

I invest a lot of money into my looks. In fact, I could even say I've embraced a career that not only funds this pattern of investment, but fuels it as well.

Of course the things I do are of the natural realm - unless I'm sporting some lycra blended leggings etc. In other words, I'm not into cutting my face and pulling it back, nipping and tucking, using pills or crazy $400 designer creams etc in the name of 'beautifying'. I'm not spending crazy amounts of money on the latest designer trends either.

And the beauty I'm aiming for is more than just a pretty face. Zits aside, being able to hold an interesting conversation or be inspiring to others or feel profound wellness in my body is also part of 'good looks' I aspire for myself.

What I eat, the company I keep, the air I breath, the water I drink, the thoughts I think, the clothes I wear, the movements I make, the face & body products I use - all contribute to what I consider as my beauty regime.

Dangit though I feel a tad miffed at the cooked actions of my earthly cohorts when I consider the whole Fukashima Nuclear Plant accident. This event could have be far less severe and damaging if short term visions hadn't reigned supreme during the construction and maintenance of the plant.

Not only are the poor people of Japan working to recover from devastating earthquakes, Tsunami waves, and nuclear radiation poisoning....on the otherside of the world we too have to consider how this nuclear fallout activity might affect us, including my efforts to look beautiful.

In addition to all the things i'm currently doing to look my best, I now must add an anti-radiation routine to maintain what I'm already doing.

(Click HERE if you want to get the lowdown)

Like seriously! I'm already doing so much for myself....and even that must now be added to keep my health (aka beauty) in check.

I'm not allowing my 'youth-ening' efforts be derailed by rain seasoned with radiation, for example. BOOO. Rain is meant to be danced in, not avoided because it's worse than a cleanser with parabens.

Anyway, I'm going to say a prayer for all the silly men that sit behind closed doors making dumb-ass decisions. Trust me, they're gonna need it.

get over yourself (smiley wink!)

Is it "High Vibe" if you have to say it? I have said this before....and I'll say it again: just cuz your clothes have bells on them and you smell like incense does not necessarily mean you're spiritual.

I find that often spiritual types are more concerned with their wardrobes and "medicines" and communities, but forget about simple things like taking care of their necessities, being considerate of others (aka good manners), and taking action (which might just tie in with my first point).

Back to work, hippie, etc.

I'll just post this video and let that do the talking for me.

The sickest buddhist

moon tea

T'was moved tonight, via intuition, to make some moon tea. My homegirls and I went out and picked some lemon balm.

Lemon balm is a herb of evolution. It's timely, what with all the nuclear radiation floating about the atmosphere that we invocate evolution in ourselves....seed ourselves with this energy of catalytic positive change.

I placed it in a big jar of water, invocated & blessed the brew, and left it in the moonlight. There it will steep, inviting in the lunar magic. Tomorrow on the full moon, which is an extra special "super moon", we'll all sip this tea and ponder its deepness.

The moon, afterall, helps us to realize that forces greater than our own thoughts guide our evolution. The lemon balm is the medium that the moon works through to get to our deepest emotions. Acknowledge, release and transcend.

Isn't plant medicine wonderfully galactic?

fuel for independence

freedom, glorious freedom.

I've been exploring various expressions of freedom lately. Previously, I felt extraordinary independence hopping in my car and speeding off to wherever I wanted to go, whenever. Damn, that felt so good, especially since 9 times out of 10 I was headed somewhere awesome, in a kick-ass vehicle.

Now in place of my turbo charged wheels I have a turbo charged life. It looks great on paper for sure, but in reality I have to re-learn to feel independent...since driving fast down a stretch of highway on some adventure or running errands around town is currently not as close to my fingertips as it once was.

Last week I did rent a moped when I was in Bali. I felt like a motorized angel speeding down the roads with my butterfly dress flapping in the wind. This is the ultimate dessert.

Interestingly, one of the ways that has really fulfilled me lately (after feeling quite smothered due to my "independence outlet" not being in place) is through exercise.

It started with a 30 yoga challenge what was going well until two days of travel broke my streak (halfway through). I was loving the rhythm of getting up early every morning to yog, no matter what time I laid down at night. My dedication to myself has been reactivated.

Now in Hawaii I've added another rhythm to my body movement training - running. A great way to get to the beach and learn the lay of the land.....which is ultimately what I crave for myself to feel truly grounded.

The other day I was "namasted" by a passerby as I was running to the beach. It felt incredible to be acknowledged for my actions and reinforced the power of what I'm doing to feed my needs. The light in me was seen as I floated past my neighbourly friend.

Perhaps this is real independence - having body mind spirit primed for self-propelled movement. I can embrace this. At least until I manifest the best car ever.

my clever thought process

One thing I could do more is give myself credit for how I do things. My unique spin on processes has given me an edge that I could easily quantify if I was into math or scientific calculations - especially now that I've harvested much of my hard work of my multi-dimensional personal development quest.

But I'm not into either of those things. Scientists don't factor in the magic of life into their experiments. That's why they don't resonate with me; I don't understand them. My clever thought process allows me to circumnavigate "reason" and come up with my own conclusion - what makes sense for me. Everything is subject to interpretation, including "rational scientific data".

This is an important step for personal sovereignty. There are many in the world who have been trained how to think by school and governments and media. We give these institutions an unearned claim of authority on how we should behave. Really, we could benefit from a lot less meddling on this planet, particularly from these institutions.

I've retrained myself to think in a way that serves myself. I start with myself to affect others. I know what's best for me.

I practice recognizing that no one else experiences reality in the exact same way that I do.....or responds to it in the same way either. My experience of 'delicious', 'heaven', 'pain', and 'mediocrity' differs from every other being in this beloved universe. Oh the freedom in just accepting that.

And that concept in itself reveals why having our own individual clever thought processes is a stepping stone to multiple levels of liberation.

To me everything is perfect. To you? A different story. And that adds to the perfection of it all.

office space & a pinch of salt

Hmmmm, well. It seems that I'm fairly good at writing the story of my life. Why, just last year I was wishing for a more flow-y work scene that lets nature guide what I do each day. And, lookee here: to a large extent that's what I'm doing now.

When it's warm out, I park myself on the deck on the tree house I'm living at, and set up shop (see image above). When it's hot out, me and the gals head down to the beach to frolic in the waves and float in the effervescent waters.

When it's rainy out I hide in my room, listen to the falling drops and enjoy the solitude.

I go with the flow, and it makes it easy to work everyday. I only have to do a little each day to get a lot done. As long as I set myself daily goals in terms of what I want to complete or manifest I know I'll be covering some serious, galactic ground.

It's quite amazing that what I write in terms of what I want to bring into my life does manifest - all in great timing of course. SPELL it out. As if I'm casting a spell on my life with the works I document on this great web of consciousness called the Internet.

I'm in awe of my power to create. Because there are many skeptics & naysayers out there who I could have let influence my desires. Instead I've simply believed in my heart that the reality I want is possible. I just have to clearly visualize it, know that it will come to be for me, release any attachment to how it might come into reality, and pay attention to the synchronicities that come forth. Then take action.

That last part I realize is so friggen important. I have to take action. When the opportunities present themselves, carpe diem. Not some day when I feel like it. But NOW.

Action. The fun part!! The part that amalgamates or galvanizes all the other parts of the manifestation process. Like how a pinch of the best ever sea salt ties it all together in chocolate making, or a vanilla infused elixir production, or insert your favorite dish creation process here.

It really brings some yummy food, delicious views, magical experiences and lovely people into my life. Etc. It's great to know that there is an easy recipe for the raddest life ever.

Be mindful what you wish for....

the fun police

I would like to get the following rant off my chest:

There are people out there who are the martyrs of fun. They insist on ensuring that everyone is having a great time. I call these people the fun police.

The thing about the fun police, is that they're pushing their values & ideas on others. "fun" pushers.

What is fun? Well gee...that's a loaded question. What's fun for me can very well be totally not fun for the next person.

What say you? An activity deemed "fun" may not actually be universally so?

Yes, that's what I'm saying, dear fun police.

My classic interaction with the fun police usually occurs in situations where drinking is involved.

I'm not a big drinker, and I would go so far to say that drinking is a boring, default activity. But I digress.

Often at these drinking occasions I'll quietly abstain, or at least don't take it to the level of pirate drunkenness that so many people REGULARLY enjoy. That's a 'special occasion' activity for me. And when it happens it's usually fun.

My point is that invariably, there will be someone there asking me why I'm not drinking....worrying that I won't have fun. "She's not drinking? Surely she can't be having any fun".

Or, like the other night when I was at Blues on Whyte sitting at a table by myself at 2am in the morning..having strangers and acquaintances alike coming up to me insisting that I come back to the dance floor . "Come on, now. Have some fun."

Annoying.

First off, at that point in the night- when my main friends of the evening were off smoking and hooking up in the corner, and the dance floor had exhausted itself as an option, sitting at a table by myself and staring into space was actually a fun option. Also, I had my iPhone keeping me company, texting my favorites that were in other locations that eve.

There I sat, quite content to do nothing, which actually wasn't nothing at all.

But apparently to onlookers this isn't fun. More over, they would have nothing of it.

"This girl MUST have fun. I'm committing the next five minutes of my life to insisting that she have fun".

Secondly, as a strong promoter of personal responsibility, I believe that everyone is in charge of their own fun. I know how to have fun. I'm great at it. And sometimes my 'fun' looks rather dull and boring. But I insist that in that moment I'm having more fun doing what I'm doing, than I'd have doing what someone else thinks I should be doing. Also, when I see others sitting on the side lines minding their own business, I respect that this is out of choice.

Thirdly, since when is forced fun...fun? If I had no interest in dancing in that moment...and someone begrudgingly pulls me onto the dance floor, and I fake it till the song is over - what's the point? Is THAT fun? Are you kidding me?

And finally - how is it that drinking automatically equals fun? In the same vein as "it's not funny if you have to explain it", I dare to say it's not fun if you have to drink to enjoy it.

There. I said it.

And as for the fun police, please refer to the image above for directions.

Happy New Year!!