damn you, mercury

When mercury is in retrograde, the suck factor can rise pretty quickly. One minute I'm trucking along having the best day ever, the next minute I get cold cocked in the face unexpectedly by some trivial misunderstanding.

The thing about Mercury that people who don't give shit about astrology might not understand, is that the transit of this planet has a long felt historical pattern of behavior when it's in its "retrograde" position.

This pattern is basically expressed through VERY POOR COMMUNICATION. Emails might not get sent, texts not received, whispers not heard, etc.

While this seems quite simple....poor communication is the root of so many problems that really mercury in retrograde can really fuck things up if I'm not extra diligent with my interchanges...and I'm just one part of the dialogue.  Whether they're aware of it or not the other parties are affected too.

And even when I'm extra attentive I notice that things can get hairy anyway. This is when a "good attitude" comes to play.

I suppose the best attitude is to consider the three times of year when mercury IS in retrograde as superhero training. I'll work extra diligently to keep all discourses on the up & up...so that when it's finally over I'll have sharper communication skills when things flow through the channels more easily.

Yes, that sounds nice.

rich rich rich

Through death, I’ve learned how deep the vein of my life’s abundance runs. The eulogies and life celebrations of loved ones color the tapestry of my life and help to illuminate how rich I really am.

This wealth is less about the balance in my bank account, and more about the profound gratitude that I can actually feel expand my heart. Holy shit, I can’t believe how beautiful his life was. And he was a part of my life. And I was a part of his.

My Dido (grandfather) passed away two weeks today. This man who helped raise me, who was there at pinnacle and mundane moments alike, who drove me to my soccer games and delivered homemade hot soup right to our door has checked out. Sad.

I haven’t experienced the mourning process of someone close to me since I was teenaged and my grandma passed. Now older & wiser I hardly feel more equipped to handle this death. The discomfort of impermanence is a lot to swallow.

The pain I feel is a simultaneous twisting of that intense heart expansion I mentioned and the sad emptiness that comes when someone great is gone.

However, with my years I’ve cultivated a perspective that allows death to show me not only how alive I really am, but also how much abundance is infused into my current human experience.

This feels like real wealth. Being at a funeral surrounded by the many family & friends who came to pay their respects and say goodbye; hearing the stories of how this man thrived through adversity, turning a life shaped by war into a life shaped by peace; recognizing that a man who died illiterate was still able to create a beautiful, prosperous life for his family. ETC. My God. What a role model.

Yeah, sure, it's super to be balls rich, sailing the seas on a private yacht or luxury jet-setting with my man bitches. And I’m sure that experience is available to me. But somehow that feels so superficial to the gratitude I feel for having the pleasure of knowing this great man I called Dido.

This song is dedicated to my grandfather.

above: old school. grandparents & grandchildren

look, lady: just fricken do it.

I often have interventions with myself. I'll be trucking along having fun and suddenly I'll cut myself off from the flow with limiting self talk & actions.

"I'll do it later", or "next time", "maybe when I'm better at it", or I'll go for a nap. Classic.

HERE is a classic situation where I actually thought: I'll do it next time. Not in that epic moment where I was primed to do it....but at some uncertain time in the future. Assuming that a perfect opportunity would present itself again AND I felt the desire to do it. What the hell?

Anyway...from time to time I have to remind myself that the MOMENT is NOW. If not NOW, then when?

Really, I feel like I can handle anything. It's mostly about having the confidence in myself to follow through, or just give'er. Sometimes I wonder when I'm going to get over myself and exude that confidence every moment - to the best of my ability.

In fairness to myself, I am getting better.

But what about lapses in confidence that disrupt my flow and stop me in my tracks? What is it that needles my confidence so tauntingly? Fear. (lame). And feeling unworthy. (also lame).

What am I so afraid of anyway? Having fun? Having the best time ever? Experiencing life to the fullest? Seriously. What is my problem over here?

In her book Fierce Medicine: Breakthrough Practices to Heal the Body and Ignite the Spirit, Ana T. Forrest speaks of stalking your fear. Just turning around, staring whatever it is that I'm shitting my pants about right in the face and saying "fuck you, I'm going to do it anyway", etc.

And of course, as expected, what was scary never is as 'scary' as it seems.

In this space & time, it's important to not waste space or time. We must seize the moment and get 'er dun.

There really is no time for me (or anyone else for that matter) to indulge in low-self-esteemy ways of being.

There's just too much work to do on this planet.

pictured above: me after I performed Black Bird (Beatles) in front of an audience in LA. turns out, I like singing in front of a crowd dressed like a fashion victim.

tastebud ticklers

Every once and while I'll eat something that is so delicious it's a mind fuck. What? How does this taste so good? It's ridiculous!

This happened a few weeks ago when I was swirling between California and Arizona. A lovely lady named Christina brought Avocado a gift of fresh Barhi dates.

I had heard of Barhi dates before; my friend Heidy got really excited about them when they were fresh in season and available on the internet for a slight investment. Yes, yes. Medjool's, etc are good and all....but compared to Barhi's they simply are shrivelled fruits.

And really - look at these things? Do they look like they would melt your heart with their tastiness?

Frankly I didn't get it. I mean, I like dates and all....but I truly did not understand my friends enthusiasm.

Until now.

Caramely & delicious, these dates made me go to my special place each time I had a chance to enjoy them.

It blows my mind sometimes how nature creates these foods that are so epically delicious just by themselves. Damn she is amazing. Enter slow clap here.

My point: I recommend tasting what I feel that candy makers have only tried to imitate. Nature's true caramel. Open yourself to the experience of a fresh Barhi date. Dang. You won't regret it.

flying high

I've adopted quite a few habits to keep myself healthy despite all the flying I do.

I'll wear a Schumann Resonance device like a zapper to help keep me grounded while I'm flying. I'll fly at night whenever possible to avoid the high radiation that daytime flying brings. I'll take MegaHydrate - a potent antioxidant - to keep myself hydrated and again protected from the avian elements. Further, vials of Quintessential give me a mineral intense moisture. So appreciated way up there.

My biggest challenge is water. Since I've committed to not drinking plastic water, this means that I do go thirsty sometime - particularly when I'm on a plane.

This can be challenging, because dang I get thirsty when I fly. But I know that really, anything I could consume that's provided by the plane really won't put me ahead on a hydration level.

Demineralized, reverse osmosis tap water? What the heck is that really going to do for me? Strip my body of all the good things I work so hard to put in? That's what I thought. I'm more likely adding to my toxicity level and I'm also contributing to our waste problem.

It'd be one thing if the drinks they poured on the plane were in reusable cups, but they are not.

I probably average 4 flight segments per month. If I use just one plastic cup per flight, that's 48 plastic cups per year that are used and trashed - assuming I'm on a short haul flight. This is JUST ME! Nevermind all the other people on the plane, and all the other planes & flights. And of course the water that I could drink comes from a plastic bottle - more plastic! These bottles may be recycled after they're emptied, but I don't know for sure.

And further, the water (or other beverage of choice) that comes in these bottles are loaded with xeno-estrogens and other hormone mimicking chemicals that don't do the body good.

It seems like one small thing I can do for myself & for the Mother - who selflessly gives to me each and every day. A little water fast never hurt anyone....and when I do get to my destination I make it a priority to hydrate with a liquid of considerable quality: fresh spring water harvested from the source is the best, or purchased spring water in glass. Coconut water is great too, either from a young coconut or in glass or in a tetra pack.

Those liquids are truly hydrating, and fully worth the wait.

you are important. and I am too.

It's important to remember that just because someone has more money or less money, more experience or less experience, more friends or fewer friends, more notches on their bed post or less that everyone is of the same importance and value in the eyes of God.

Now I can see people getting squeamish at my mention of God, but really fill in the blank of whatever you believe in - Source, the Universe, Allah, False Idols, whatever.

If you don't believe in anything....sorry, I can't help you.

The point is that this air of "I'm better than you" that our human race seems to thrive on is a sickness that holds us back as a collective. We boost ourselves up by putting or pushing others down and in doing so we impede ourselves from evolving as a whole.

Celebrity culture and the workplace pyramids and class differences can breed a shortfall of neighbourly respect. How about I honour your existence?

Sure, this guy might be more intelligent than that guy; but that doesn't make this guy better than that guy. It just makes him smarter. An important distinction.

If we were a collective of awakened, conscious people we'd treat all those we come in contact with reverence.

Acknowledging a beggar can a more meaningful experience for both parties than giving him money. Eye contact and a smile or a couple of quarters? I see you is worth more.

And the billionaire next door? I see him too. Hello friend, way to be.

Imagine if we all took the time to look at people in our lives. Really see them. We would see that we are the same.

As Rumi says: We are the mirror, and the face in it.

I know I have my elitist moments. I am aware of them. "I am better than you" is an exhausting attitude, and ultimately fruitless. Creating separateness doesn't feel good.

We're all in this together.

When I'm opening and accepting of all people - keeping my judgements on the back-burner - the magic of life turns on and good things flow to me. Everyone's a winner, including me.

the cairns are calling

When I was younger out hiking in the mountains, I always appreciated the cairns along the path. They were confusing at first (are people that bored that they need to build a pile of rocks in the middle of nowhere?). But then I got it.

They were objects of natural beauty, and a sign of human interaction with the landscape.

I loved the simplicity of them. A creative, strategic use of stone to show people the way. Ah, a cairn. We're on the right path.

Currently I spend a lot of time with someone who I'll dub The Cairn Master. He's built what seems hundreds of these miniliths in the forest of his property, each with its own character.

It's interesting being witness to the process. As the Cairn Master works, I hear stone grind on stone, watching the union of the rock together as they lock into place. The stones come to a marriage where they fit perfectly together and will balance there through thick & thin.

It take patience and strength to find that set point of balance. And it always comes, even with seemingly impossibly shaped stones.

When building a cairn a thought to consider: if a small animal brushes by this or a gust of wind blows while it is near the formation, will it be hurt or crushed by a tumbling cairn, or will the cairn hold it's ground? It's good to walk away with the confidence it won't easily budge.

The turn of seasons is the ultimate test for a well built cairn.

Here's a fun fact: When rocks like quartz are put under pressure, like being set between other stones in a cairn, and frequency is emitted - much like the crystals in the dial of a radio or a watch work. In this case, there is a constant pressure.

Thus, besides being a rustic art installation along the paths of many journeys, cairns naturally put out a frequency that would otherwise not be there. What or who is in resonance with this frequency? What is this frequency saying?

Regardless of the lore of cairns, they are a universal symbol of consciousness.

We were here. In a blink of time, the cairn marks a presence.

It's an honouring of passersby of past, present & future who notice... & know.