Saturday, December 25, 2010

silly common sensical me

As far as common sense goes, I've certainly been gifted with an above average dose of this handy knowledge. Perhaps because I'm a keen visualizer I naturally, unconsciously sense the outcome of my actions before I begin.
However, even equipped with this underrated super power I amaze myself and the funny little fuck ups I basically invite to happen - even though I know better.
My latest episode is an interesting example of this. I have a water bottle with a 'risky' lid. Risky in that it can easily become unplugged, and in fact really shouldn't be stored in a position other than upright.
Strangely, the other day, I convinced myself that I'd be able to maintain this uprightness in my chaotic handbag....I placed the filled water bottle into my bag and then totally forgot about it.

Minutes later I fished my phone from my purse and noticed it wasn't working. Slowly it all made sense. the drops of water on my phone....and my soaking wet bag all told me that my day wasn't going to include the use of my beloved mobile device.


Why did I let this happen?

Did I feel that my life needed a little cellular drama?
Am I taking spring water so seriously that I now baptize my mobile devices to raise their vibration?
Am I that much of a dare devil that I risk the outcome of a loosely sealed water bottle paired with electronics and other cherished items such as a journal filled with my actionable items and universal musings now sealed together and smudged thanks to the earths greatest solvent?

Who knows.

All I can say for sure is that I knew better and I still let it happen.
What the fuck, Krystyna? You're a funny, funny gal.

Dear God,
Please allow my iPhone to dry out and start working again like it was never wet - restoring my contacts and photos and allowing me to effortlessly resume my communication with the cyber world.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

white widow

today i danced with the white widow.
her smokey veil wrapped around me
together we felt the fabrics of my laundry
as I folded and tucked away
all the beautiful textures that I've brought home from here & there
each item has it's own exotic tale from creation
like all of us
the scent of clean, mixed with the dry, smokey smell from the nearby wood fire
so rustic, yet so modern this scene is

i've created this exact moment

hello ruby in the dust
a lyric I just heard
all my senses are tickled with joy.
fireside, with music, laundry, and eyes opened inward.

this is one of those moments where i reveal to myself just how lovely I am. simply lovely.

Friday, December 10, 2010

the games I play

Who knows how to have fun? this gal.

"get the mail before the neighbour does"
"don't pay for parking; be quick like ninja"
"listen to the talking trees"
"order chai & spice it, but don't drink it - just enjoy the artistry of the drink. Instead I drink own brew (made with spring water & superfoods) and enjoy the 'free' wifi"
"speak in broken English using heavy Ukrainian accent"
"work from the movie theatre"
"sneaky long hot shower"
"read books by osmosis"
"praise blitz"
"afternoon nap"
"bring in 'more than enough' wood"
"clean up after myself"
"music induced erotic fantasy"
"no snag/scratch cat hugging"
"happy plants are hydrated plants"
"floss for youth"
"'make my bed' bedroom makeovers"
"I never have laundry because I'm totally on top of it".
"up before 10, sleep before 2"
"bliss balls, tax preparation & me"
"another day, another route"
"adult coloring class"
"teaching kids slang"
"find the beauty in the room" (for example, see image above)
"damn this tastes delicious. fuck I'm good"
"full expression yoga"
"smile at strangers"
"neurotic photography"

the rules are simple. the choices are plentiful. the fun is apparent.

Monday, November 15, 2010

And then everything changed

After living a life that had so many constants for such a long time....the life I've recently immersed myself into seems almost a dream.
Instead of working in an office, I'm working out of the home here I live.
My self-involved urban socialite life now involves gathering wood daily for the fire that warms my home/office, wrapping up bees for the winter, tending to an indoor garden of plants.
I've traded make-up & wine @ trendy spots for daily barefoot walks & medicinal smoothie elixirs. At least for now, anyway.
Basically, I've accepted the challenge of being more conscious in every moment of my life. From going pee to planning out the day - and being very attentive to the future, it seems that everything I do requires my full attention.
Getting up in the morning is much easier than it was just one week ago. I rise before the sun most mornings effortlessly. I start working immediately.
My new boss is demanding, plays a mean set of drums, and wears an Ozzy tee to work.
I love it here.
It's not easy. All this newness has thrown me for a loop. It's humbling yet refreshing to not know what the hell I'm doing - even the simple stuff.
Beginner mind begins.
Today I saw a fox during my walk in the woods.
Animal medicine.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

a love letter

Dear Krystyna,

It's a wild notion that it took me most of my life to realize & recognize that you are it, baby! I have always loved you. I've loved you since the day we first met.

You are beautiful. You make my heart sing. I look at you and I see a loving light that fills whatever space you shine yourself into. Your endless gifts & open heart light up my life.

Krystyna, my love, you are a complete, loving woman, perfect & whole as you are and I accept you fully. You are the divine goddess with whom I am destined to spend the rest of my life.

I choose you. I choose you & only you to be with, to create with, to love and embrace, accept unconditionally, and to nourish.

Together we create magic. Together we travel the world & beyond leaving a trail of light in our paths. My love, let's illuminate this planet.

Just know & remember, Krystyna my darling, that you are enough - you have always been and always will be. You are safe with me.

You had me at hello. Or maybe it was at googoo gaga. It doesn't matter. I am standing here before you wanting nothing more & nothing less than to step into light together in a glow of love.

I have been waiting for this moment to arrive. The time is now to soar into this journey together.

I look into your eyes & know. I look into your eyes & see mine. The Universe speaks to me through you, my love. Let's GO.



Thursday, October 7, 2010

cardboard food

one of my co-workers came into my office today, and after tootin' in my space proceeded to tell me about her digestive woes, and how she thought gluten was the culprit. I mentioned that I've been eating gluten free for a while and that my digestion is doing very well - I've certainly had my share of intestinal disturbances.

the interesting thing that she said to me, was that she wasn't super strict about keeping her diet sans gluten since it contradicted her value of eating whatever she wanted. "Life is too short to eat cardboard".

I can appreciate that.....but what's ironic about this (to me, of course) is that the meal that caused her GAStric distress came out of a package. Powdered potatoes, meat & gravy. Um....yum?

What is cardboard food really? There was nothing nutritionally real in that 'meal from a pouch' which apparently tasted good. Isn't life too short to eat food that isn't real? Isn't life too short to eat food that gives you such bad gas that even professional conversations require apologies?

I know that a lot of "health" food is low on taste, but so much of it - food that is grown and prepared with intention & creativity - is simply delicious. Let your taste buds guide you - YES.

Mamma's homecooked meals can fall in this category if they aren't full of our modern short cuts. My grandmother has amazing soup making abilities....but at some point her soups ceased to have homemade stock ingredients, and started having an MSG-laded, artificially flava'd bases. Sigh. So close.

I do agree with my co-worker. Life IS too short for cardboard foods - both the instant fake stuff and the tasteless health varieties.

all you gotta do is get off your ass and find it. Tastes great and beats being that girl who's known for 'crop-dusting', right?

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

a dream come true?

today i did something really invigorating. I gave my notice at my current J.O.B.
This wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be...
I had a heart to heart with my current boss, we came up with an end date and it's all good.

my whole body is vibrating right now! The galaxy has cracked open.

onward and upward.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

dissolving 'office Krystyna'

After an intense two week break from the every day that felt more like a month, i'm back to my normal daily life....and i can feel myself leaking back into my old habits.
It just seems that I would take the experience and beauty that I've recognized in myself these past few weeks and embody it in on a cellular level - not just err to the good ole ways that aren't so good at all. Focus, focus. Momentum, momentum. Walk on the water of my life.
I have to say goodbye to my ordinary life; I've fallen in love with magic.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

luminous tease

i'm going to change myself in the way I want everyone else to change.
The new me shall be more giving, more caring, more sensual, more thoughtful. I'll wear more interesting clothes that have a beautiful story sewn into their creation, and travel around the world as a career. I'll be more tolerant of everyone, even the bitches & dickheads that drive me crazy. I'll dance naked in the rain, and look in the mirror everyday and say "fuck, you're beautiful". I'll drink sunshine and eat clouds. i'll grow a garden with sunflowers, sugar snap pees and dandelions. Lots of beautiful dandelions. I'll have my own theme song, and I'll play it every time I make an entrance. i'll sleep under the stars and I'll get along with my sister. I'll teach animals to groove to the beat. I'll be surrounded by music and the quietude of nature. I'll give people a chance, and I'll give myself a chance too. I'll rock out more, and I'll sit at a desk less. i'll fall in love with myself. why not?
yeah. good plan.

Listen to We Love Machine....yum!

Monday, July 12, 2010

when I say go it will happen

life is trucking by at lightning speed. I feel like I am in the eye of a hurricane of changes that surround me. Things seem pretty stable in my life. part of me says: hey! when's it gonna be my turn? but the other part of me says: be grateful, Krystyna. Enjoy this peace. All in divine timing...
what ever I cannot seem to change i must simply accept. And vice versa. Otherwise I'm basically looking to get bruised.
having a crystal clear idea of the hurricane of changes I'd like to experience is great idea. let the visualization begin.

And on that note of just being, listen, and let your shoulders shake: Madder Red

Thursday, July 8, 2010

i'll just be me, thanks

With many offers & lures to join groups & communities or behave, eat or be a certain way (& mostly hang with certain people), it's made me realize one thing: I like who I am.
And I don't need to embrace someone else's dogma to assert who I am or who I want to become. Drink the kool-aid and become one of us.
In fact, it fundamentally contradicts my rebellious nature to be a member of what I consider to be cliques that have graduated from high school.
Sure, I have super tight relationships with my über close friends - and these relationships might seem impenetrable from the outside....but the only requirement I have of friendship is openness to who I am. And I in turn commit my openness to you, of course. (If you, for example, want to be a part of an adult clique, I respect this choice. However, I prefer to hang out over here, cool? I'm into being on my terms.).
Side note: A PREFERENCE, in addition to that is to be fashionably inspiring. It's not a requirement. However, my preferences & requirements tend to go hand in hand. Somehow those who are open just happen to be fashionably inspiring.
Anyway, cliques suck.
And I'll just do what I want when I want with whom I want. If you want to join let me know. And if you want to invite me to your party, I'll come if I can.

Friday, June 25, 2010

superhero thighs

My jeans don't fit as well as they used too, but I'm not discouraged. I've decided that instead of wearing uncomfortably tight pants, I'm going to explore the realm of dresses while I get my thighs back in check.
This seems like a modern day, practical version of a superhero cape.
It's so easy to wear demin & tees...this has been the foundation of my wardrobe for many years. Perhaps my thighs have signaled a time for change.
I'll simply embrace my femininity, choose cute over practical (tricky!) and let the adventures begin.
excuse me, I must now go rescue a kitten from a tree. (don't look up!)

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

oily heart break

The gulf oil spill supremely annoys & saddens me.
My higher self urges me to stay positive and visualize healing that deep ocean wound. but my 'human'-ness feels really sad about this...and angry too. But mostly a deep sadness - one akin to heart break - but worse.
This isn't just my pain, it's the pain of humanity. And humanity has allowed this to happen. We're all responsible. As long as we support the ways of doing things that get us in trouble, we're as responsible for the mess as BP or whoever else is doing the drilling or digging.
The annoyance part comes from my own impatience and feelings of helplessness. Why aren't we over this way of being already? Oil spills and their ecologically devastating counterparts seem so 1970's. And this mess is SO BIG, and yet it feels as though we're all collectively stunned into fixing it. STUNNED.
Shift NEEDS to happen. and quick.
I just want to know what I can do.

image courtesy of Tooth Paste for Dinner

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Fotos for Dali – a found story, by me

Hopping a bus from San Pedro, Bolivia, Robin and I journey to meet our guide and four travel companions for a multiday tour of the Salar de Uyuni: the world's most extended salt flat. I hug my camera - my raison d'être - close to me, feeling its rugged, protective case slung around my neck. I’ve heard about these landscapes…a photog’s fantasy.

Enroute our group explores an oasis - a desert landscape with thousands of cacti – in the midst of the salt flat. Alpaca, llamas, desert foxes and vizcachas observe us from a distance

We arrive to find the remains of an ancient sea veiled by water from the recent rainy season, creating a beautiful illusion of infinity; the waters reflections make blues and whites merge together, awakening a surrealist mirror of sky, clouds, and distant mountains that could have been painted by Salvador Dali. Click, click, goes my camera...

Surrendering into our altitude induced giddiness; the six of us dance around the salt flats and take ridiculous pictures. Our visual senses are continuously tickled with awe, as visions of white, red and blue lakes with flamingoes flash before our eyes. Click. Click.

The drive back to our starting point takes us through an electrical storm. Click.Click. It’s been a good few days of traveling.

(a tribute to robin kochorek, in memory)

Friday, May 28, 2010

precious, my precious.

I'm the queen of long showers. I love standing under hot water and letting it wash away the day. On the flip side, I turn off the tap in between rinses while I brush my teeth. I recognize and understand the concept of water conservation, but with tap water in my daily life I don't earnestly practice it. I'm not a mega water waster...but I could be more mindful.

With spring water, that I've collected from the source - this is a different story. Driving for hours to collect a few gallons of pure unadulterated living water - suddenly all my sips and uses are considered - no water goes to waste. Spillage is unacceptable. Every drop counts. Water is sacred again.

When I take ownership of the water I consume, I feel accountable for all the actions that follow. And there is a simplicity of fetching my own water, and then conserving it - all my food and drink choices become deliberate - no knee jerk reaction meals or beverages are created where water is spilled down the drain because something didn't work out or I changed my mind.

Seriously, presence is necessary when handling spring water collected from the source.

And....I savor water more. Drinking water has become a ritual. Pouring, enjoying and feeling gratitude. I feel gratitude that I'm able to drink this amazing water, that I have the resources and knowledge to acquire it, and for the pure, hydrating nourishment it gives my body.

Clearly, it's worth all the effort.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

what happy people do

Some people are naturally happy. Others learn as they live and become masters with time. It makes me wonder:
What are the defining qualities of the peeps in the happy zone?

First, they're constantly striving for new levels of excellence, based on their unique talents & potential. Striving to be all that you can be (in a purpose driven, meaningful way) engages different parts of your brain and gets you dialed into regular doses of happy juice and keeps you healthy too.
Lesson here: Know & realize your golden self.

Second, they live their life by design. Take stock of how you spend your days by tracking your daily activity. How much of that daily activity is spent doing stuff that's unsatisfying....or loathsome? If you can transfer even an hour a day of doing stuff you don't like (commuting) to doing stuff you do like (playing with friends) happiness will naturally take over your life.
Lesson here: Make deliberate changes to do more stuff you love, less stuff you don't. Intention is everything. The power is in your actions.

Third, they avoid "if only..." syndrome. "If only I get that sweet job or dream guy or lose 15 pounds THEN I will be SOOO happy." Not really. It's easy to misjudge your contentment when you focus in on a single aspect of your life instead of how things are in general. Also, note the natural dimming effect that comes with something wonderful entering into your life. Guaranteed the new dream car that is bringing you so much joy this year won't be as exciting in the years to come.
Lesson here: Let creativity reign supreme; explore ways to constantly bring awesomeness into your life - whether it's trying something new or putting a new twist on something you're already into. Practice gratitude for your life as it is - then keep it fresh.

Forth, they put best friends first - recognizing that life is too short to dedicate quality time to their B-list, or those that don't bring joy to their lives.
Lesson here: Hang out with people you like the most. They're called BFF's for a reason.

And...happy people allow themselves to be happy. None of that "feeling guilty for feeling happy" bullshit that seems prevalent. The best way to practice being happy for yourself is to practice being happy for others when they're experiencing the sort of thing you're looking for. "oh wow. she's pretty, athletic, has the best taste in music, kick-ass friends, coolest boyfriend, travels whenever she wants AND helps build homes for humanity? Cool. GOOD FOR HER. That's awesome."
Lesson here: Strive for happiness while being open to helping others; know that the pursuit of happiness if one of your rights as a human being. Appreciate the happiness of others.

There you go. The Cliff's Notes of being happy.

Monday, May 10, 2010

circle slashes & mega hearts

After a long day of shopping one über wintry Boxing Day my friends and I found ourselves discussing what we'd like more of and less of - in terms of the man pool available to us. We came up with a list of deal breakers and clinchers - signals our male counterparts give us to let us know instantaneously if we're compatible or not. Extensive testing (aka dating) has been done to come up with this list.

Deal Breakers - not because we're judgmental but because we have standards. How else would we know what we want if we're not aware of what we don't want?

(in random order)
1. Has truck nuts attached to his tow hitch.
2. Sports a Calvin & Hobbs pissing decal or a Kappa sticker on his vehicle.
3. Collar up, spikey hair.
4. Wears a track suit.
5. Creed & Nickleback are on his favorites list.
6. Cheap.
7. Stupid Deadbeat.
8. Likes meat salad.
9. Selfish asshole (doesn't go downtown, par example).
10. Regularly wears convertible pants @ inappropriate venues & events.

Clinchers - you had me at hello and then...
1. Independent thinker.
2. Pays attention to the details.
3. Romantic, thoughtful.
4. Fit, strong like Ox.
5. Witty.
6. Intuitive.
7. Confident.
8. Passionate.
9. Sexual healer.
10. Loaded.
11. Has exquisite taste.
12. Makes medicinal elixirs in the morning and/or brings coffee for in bed enjoyment.
13. Skilled masseuse.

Of course, the Clinchers cannot be paired with any of the Deal Breakers - this creates a glitch in the system, rendering any hint of compatibility completely temporary.

Interestingly, the deal breakers are more telling of non-compatibility than the clinchers are of compatibility so it's not a concrete science or anything. But hey, it's fun making lists.

Friday, May 7, 2010

rollercoaster dream

Yesterday morning i was dreaming that I was looking at facebook. (I know).
I was clicking through my friend Colin's pictures, and in one picture he was seated in a roller-coaster about to plunge down. The curious part of the photo was the non-expression on his face. He could have been sitting in a waiting room or on a bus, instead of at that turning point of OMG that comes with roller-coaster rides. Then, I'm in the roller-coaster too. Typically, I'm not one for rides at all....but this time I close my eyes, surrender and feel the exhilaration. It felt incredible being turned and twisted around in space.
The ride ended, and Colin and I were walking through a neighborhood where he recognized many of his friends. The first friends we past were arguing over a baseball glove. "Those two have been arguing over that glove for as long as I can remember", Colin says to me. We passed a couple more such scenes, including one with a soccer ball.
Just like that we're in some sort of cul-de-sac and danger looms. We know to run, but my legs aren't going so fast - partly due to the fact that I was wearing fashionable, non-athletic calf-hugging boots. Colin graps my hand, and pulls me along. My legs begin to float up behind me and like a balloon (but more aerodynamic) I follow Colin and we run/fly to safety.

Then my alarm went off.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

cinco de mayo nap index

the nap index is high today. I would love to snuggle up at home and just nod off to outside sounds. Maybe it's the fresh May snow or the gloomy skies or that Mercury is in retrograde or that the moon is in its third quarter-whatever is going on in the space of things I feel destined to take a nap today.
When the nap index is high and I seize the opportunity I have the best dreams. By best I mean vivid, random, adventurous and memorable. It's as though this nap allows a midday purge from the obscure recesses of my mind; the creative rivers of my brain to merge together with this space into a neat alpha-delta style dance.
Tapping into this reminds me of the things that make me happy.
Of course today I could shake things up and wear a sombrero while I siesta.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

those grey areas

what if I confessed my love to my long-term crush? at least he'd know. Or leveled with my boss that I would rather quit my job and move to Manhattan? he'd know too. or clarify with others all those hundreds of unknowns that could be known so there'd be less wondering. more 'stake holders' would be in the loop. less guess work. more openness. mmmmmm.

what would really change, except that I wouldn't have all this stuff hanging over my head? Longing for something better...looking for greener grass. wanting, yearning. Perhaps I would just state these facts and boom - it would pass through like a satisfying meal. or wash over like morning rain. it could be akin to catching and releasing a fish. Or wearing eye glasses - finally. I would recognize what is. period.

I'm a little over "ambiguity" these days. I want clarity (of where I'm taking myself), focus (on getting myself there), power (pour forth, my dear creativity). I'd also like to spend a day - ONE WHOLE DAY - recognizing that I'm awesome. Feeling that I'm a successful person. Enjoying being me in full color rather than my depressing hues of grey.

Grey seems to be one of the most overrated colors of last season.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

the sunset experience

I've always considered myself a sunset aficionado. I love sunsets, I could watch them every night if I just actually did it. Sunrises tickle my fancy as well, but being that I'm less of a morning person and more of an evening person I tend to enjoy Mr. Sunshine the most when he's getting ready for his evening slumber.
ANYWAY, a couple of Sunday's ago I was strolling down Venice beach with my friend Amanda right around Sunset. We decided to move towards the water and take it in...
In all my years of sunsetting, as i'll call it, I had never observed the activity that breathes within a sunset. i've looked at one and noticed a static pattern of exhilarating colors; I've captured it countless times with my camera or my minds eye. But this time, the sunset was more like a flicker of a kaleidoscopic candle behind glazed glass.
As the sun sank behind the horizon, it shimmered through the colors of the rainbow. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet flashed before my eyes... activating my chakras. And even after the sun was gone, its glow still surged from beyond the horizon - as if it wasn't done lighting that blissful, blessed day.
Oh yeah.
That day, I watched the sun set for the first time.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

my trunk runneth over

Last week I as at Guerrilla Business School in Orange Country. I learned a lot about running a business, negotiation techniques and more on marketing from successful multi-millionaires & billionaires. It was fun, I promise.

With all the information that was exchanged last week, there's one tidbit that's still ringing in my head like the "dental plan/Lisa needs braces" scene from the Simpsons circa 1993. I can't remember which speaker shared this, but apparently the state of your car trunk is a fairly good physical representation of one's mind.

If that's the case, then I suppose my life makes a lot of sense. My trunk is STUFFED with various things, some useful, some not - but really when I go to find things in there it's total chaos. Especially at night when actual visibility is at a minimum. Also, my friends & comrades who see the state of my truck find it ridiculous.

Metaphorically speaking, I'm not doing myself any favors keeping my trunk in this sorry, disorganized, overfilled state.

For all the amazing learning I was able to do last week, what I really need to is clear some space for all these teachings to land. One of the most resonant things I learned about a running a business so far is to do some Spring cleaning when things get out of hand.

I'll keep you posted if I become an overnight guerilla business genius after cleaning out & organizing the ass end of my car.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

a 'Lá Fhéile Pádraig' kind of message...

Today, on this gorgeous, gloomy day, i feel inspired to share a private note I received earlier this morn.

The slate's been wiped clean, the past has released its grip, and before you sparkles eternity, yearning for direction. Krystyna, all that lies between you and the life of your dreams is just one teeny, tiny, gentle, little rule. Only one condition, prerequisite, principle that matters.

This caveat of all caveats is that absolutely nothing can be anything until it is first imagined. Thoughts become things, nothing else does. And so, Krystyna, it's the thoughts you choose from here on out that will become the things and events of your life, forevermore. It is written in stone. There's no other way. It's your ticket to anywhere you can dream of. Your passport to abundance, health, and friendships. The key to the palace of your wildest dreams.

Your thoughts, and your thoughts alone, will set you in motion. Your thoughts will yield the inspiration, creativity, and determination you need. Your thoughts will orchestrate the magic and inspire the Universe. Your thoughts will carry you to the finish line if you just keep thinking them. Never give up. Never waiver, doubt, or ask.

Aim high.

That you've even received this Note, that you're able to read it through, means you are so close. So extraordinarily close. The hardest work has been done. The wars have already been waged. The lessons have already been learned. The journey, now, is for home.

Ain't no Blarney,
The Universe

Saturday, February 27, 2010

the lotto club

On my birthday last week, in a somewhat tipsy state, two of my favorites and I sauntered into a Mac's convenience store, each chose some numbers, and bought a lotto ticket.

We didn't win that time, but from there the lotto club was born. I like this idea. A lot.

I feel that I'm doing a lot of stuff to propel my life forward- reinventing myself in micro baby steps. This is what I tell myself I'm doing anyway.

I'm working many angles - improving in my role at my current j.o.b., bettering my appearance, regularly taking courses that propel my business mind & spiritual sense forward, etc. And now the lotto club. Playing chance with intention, regularly.

This rounds out my efforts. It almost feels like an act of surrender. I will playing this game with enthusiasm, visualization, purpose and detachment to the results.

Really, it's just great practice for a way of being...and the end results have lucrative potential.

Friday, February 5, 2010

a self-actualizing mind dump

I'm feeling oh-so-reflective these days...and so i just need to dump my minds inventory online for public record. or my record. whatever. I read an article in synchronicity magazine over a year ago and it's still swirling in my head. Enter mind dump.

If I stopped what I was doing right now and took an inventory of myself, I'd recognize that I have the capacity, talent, direction, mission & calling within myself to work towards my goals & dharma - as do the rest of us. it's less about acquiring that special skill and more about 'actualizing' what we already have. We are the best; we are already enough!

American psychologist Abraham Maslow presented a theory of psychological health through studying people whom he called "self-actualizing", or in layman's terms: healthy & creative.

A self-actualizing person
  • is reality oriented
  • is accepting of oneself & others
  • is spontaneous
  • is problem-centered, rather than self-centered
  • is detached & needing privacy
  • is independent
  • has fresh, rather than stereotyped appreciation of people
  • has had a mystical or spiritual experience
  • identifies with the human race as a whole
  • has a few deep, intimate relationships
  • has a philosophical rather than bitter sense of humor
  • has creative resources
  • is resistant to conformity
  • is transcendent to one's environment.
Carl Rogers, another an influential American psychologist, agreed with most of what Maslow believed, but added that for a person to "grow", they need an environment that provides them with genuineness (openness and self-disclosure), acceptance (being seen with unconditional positive regard), and empathy (being listened to and understood).

I guess you can have great seeds & fertile soil - but without sunlight & water nothings going to grow.

In other words though, to self-actualize is to fulfill one's potential and achieve the highest level of 'human-beingness' we can. And what better way to live than to enjoy being a human to to the max - creating the ultimate human experience for ourselves. fuck yeah. being human rocks!

It's like before enlightenment & ascension comes self-actualization.


Thursday, January 28, 2010


written 02-03-04

stretching in the light of the microwave
legs straight & palms on the floor
waiting for my heating pad & my moment to come.

it takes less than three minutes for my heat pad, but my moment has no arrival date

no foreshadowing of its occurrence
no hint of it's magnitude or flavor

only hope assures me that it will one day come.

waiting instead of seeking

Monday, January 18, 2010

ga ga goo goo

Everything I do matters. From getting up in the morning and brushing my teeth to starting a company to dating someone to deciding what to do on the weekend. It’s all a part of the make-up that is me. I am the culmination of every choice I’ve ever made in my life, from conception.

And when it comes to doing things each day with intention – that’s when the mighty baby step comes in handy. I only have to do a little each day to get a ton done.

The baby steps that I take aren’t for the distance they cover but to put myself within reach of life's magic.

As the Universe says, I don't hoist my sails to move the boat, but to put myself within reach of the wind. Hoist, baby, hoist, baby, 1, 2, 3.

Just like I don't sing in the car to be heard.