Monday, May 10, 2010
circle slashes & mega hearts
After a long day of shopping one über wintry Boxing Day my friends and I found ourselves discussing what we'd like more of and less of - in terms of the man pool available to us. We came up with a list of deal breakers and clinchers - signals our male counterparts give us to let us know instantaneously if we're compatible or not. Extensive testing (aka dating) has been done to come up with this list.
Deal Breakers - not because we're judgmental but because we have standards. How else would we know what we want if we're not aware of what we don't want?
(in random order)
1. Has truck nuts attached to his tow hitch.
2. Sports a Calvin & Hobbs pissing decal or a Kappa sticker on his vehicle.
3. Collar up, spikey hair.
4. Wears a track suit.
5. Creed & Nickleback are on his favorites list.
7. Stupid Deadbeat.
8. Likes meat salad.
9. Selfish asshole (doesn't go downtown, par example).
10. Regularly wears convertible pants @ inappropriate venues & events.
Clinchers - you had me at hello and then...
1. Independent thinker.
2. Pays attention to the details.
3. Romantic, thoughtful.
4. Fit, strong like Ox.
9. Sexual healer.
11. Has exquisite taste.
12. Makes medicinal elixirs in the morning and/or brings coffee for in bed enjoyment.
13. Skilled masseuse.
Of course, the Clinchers cannot be paired with any of the Deal Breakers - this creates a glitch in the system, rendering any hint of compatibility completely temporary.
Interestingly, the deal breakers are more telling of non-compatibility than the clinchers are of compatibility so it's not a concrete science or anything. But hey, it's fun making lists.