light nights

I've been experiencing dark nights since I came to this planet. While in Iceland last week I had the pleasure of experiencing light nights...endless days strung together by a sun that hardly sets. The sky is perpetually light. It's trippy, really...and offers a sense of timelessness. Especially when the sky is overcast it's hard to tell whether its morning, noon or night.

Me and my homies easily stayed up until 3am...I feel like had I not been so exhausted from the month of constant travel prior to Iceland, I would have hardly slept at all while i was here. Alas, Iceland was to be a recoup for me. Sleeping in the light was great. It felt a lot like afternoon napping, complete with hearing outside sounds and zany, lucid dreams.

Last night I watched the sun set into darkness from the JFK airport on my way home from Iceland. And I felt a little sad saying goodbye to my weeklong day. It was as if I hadn't known anything else. Later, after I landed in SFO, I felt a little bummed out. I didn't even notice that I had crossed the Golden Gate Bridge! Perhaps this is part of the adjustment that comes with experiencing regular darkness once again.

I'd love to go back to Iceland again at this time of year with minimal plans, and just park myself in the great outdoors near a hot spring and lose track of time and myself. Just be. Seems like a sweet little human experiment. What kind of musings could come from that experience?

Let there be light this night.

Above: My homie Avocado shows the time on his phone: 12:28 am.

improvising & enjoying: superhero skills

I don't want to say that I'm an airhead. I could be more prudent when it comes to planning. I suppose I try to plan.

Back in April, for example, I was thinking about how much I wanted to go to Iceland. When I was packing to leave Ontario I looked at my international power adapter, and then was like Meh, I don't want to carry that around. So, its not like I didn't think about it....I just didn't think that it would be necessary when I got here. Although apparently the library of books I brought is way more practical. Not.

Anyway, in a way, I was correct. I've been here in Iceland for many days now, and have managed to keep my apparatus's charged quite effortlessly without an adapter, AND without infringing on other peoples charge time . I'm grateful that I roll with endless circles of Mac & iPhone users. No matter where I'm at, whether Peru or Iceland or good ole LA, everyone uses Apple....so that makes it easy.

Whenever I'm challenged by some sort of perceived short coming or inadequacy, my brain immediately jumps to: how can I make this work anyway? I appreciate that I'm wired this way.

A lot of people have the when/then syndrome: When I make more money, then I'll be able to invest in myself. When I get in that relationship, then I'll feel in love. 

Meh...what about NOW? What's going on now?

Here's what I've realized: I don't need an adapter to charge my computer when I'm in a foreign country or a lot of money to enjoy myself. That's one thing I've realized. I just need to be resourceful.

There is always someone who can help. Or an adapter not being used. And the funnest things to do often don't really cost that much. Mother nature provides.

Enjoying oneself no matter what is also a superhero skill. Sure, it would be cool to get in a helicopter and get airlifted to a  glacier for an afternoon picnic with an Icelandic Hottie, and perhaps that will happen tomorrow.

Hiking through nearby mountains, enjoying dips in wild hot springs and ice cold lakes, walking the streets of Reyjkavik and enjoying al the styles & sights. It's all really fun. And doesn't cost that much unless I really want to spend money. I enjoy the freedom of travel in this respect.

And here's another thing: I'm open to the flow of not working, of not eating when I'm hungry, of not being comfortable every second. And usually, just when things seem like they could definitely be better, BOOM. A rainbow shines through, along with everything I need in the moment.

My point of this whole schpeel is to notice and cultivate our adaptability skills. It's basically the best skill a person can have, likely because it encompasses multiple talents. Getting to a place where it's literally all good, even when it's not ideal, or even when it's shitty, is a great way to swim the current of life.

When you're aware, yet not phased, that's where super power comes from. It's really that simple.

write your way to liberty

I've recently become a dedicated journal keeper. The last time I went to see a psychic I didn't get any profoundly accurate info (haha), although one nugget stood out in my notes. "Make sure you keep a journal when you're in Peru", she said.

And so I did. I started in when I was in line at Peruvian Customs and lovely gal I had seen in another airport line in Mexico City gave me a download of all the sweet spots of Cusco.

(I actually didn't reference that information ONCE while I was in Peru. When I was back in Canada I noticed I had visited 90% of her suggestions.....just through referrals and synchronicities).

Anyway, I journaled everyday while I was in Peru. I would say that it saved me. A love interest that went sour, a culture of wonder, shamanic medicines and working all the way through...there was a lot for this body-mind-spirit to process in the month that I was there.

When I came home I began reading The Artists Way, an emotional process that was developed for artists which consists of the daily practice of free hand writing three pages first thing in the morning. It's a way of getting that morning subconscious out on paper so that it's not taking up precious real estate in your working mind.

As this gets dumped everyday onto paper, it frees up emotional space in which creativity seems to flourish. Countless people have used this process as a way to free themselves from the shackles of tedium. People have become famous from undergoing this process. It's kind of a big deal.

And thus began and new practice of gettin' up and writin'. Sometime's it really fucking hard. And I do it anyway.

Knowing how the act of writing kept me same in Peru keeps me doing it. And learning that it could actually be the key to all of my goals and dreams keeps me doing it.

Aho

getting that "prosperity" vibe

I've come to a point in my life when I'm DONE with stressing over money. It seems that even when I'm flush my mind creates lack. What the hell?

And just making ends meet blows too. Did I really sign up for this?

Now that I'm over it, I'm completely open to doing whatever it takes to transport from that bullshit to a place where I rule money. That's right, money. I RULE YOU. Not the other way around.

I've read a book recently that's has some interesting insights. Nothing new here...I think it's the presented grouping of information combined with me being absolutely OVER my habituated, non-serving fucked up financial status quo. Perhaps that's all it takes. At this point, I'm open to anything.

The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity: A Simple Guide to Unlimited Abundance
by Edwene Gaines outlines four ways of being to invite in unlimited abundance. They are: Tithing & Giving, Setting Clearcut Goals, Forgiveness & Worthiness, & Finding your Divine purpose.

This is where it starts. Of course all of this culminates in taking bold, strategic action.

Besides tithing 10% of all the money that comes my way, which frankly is "not in my budget", I've been reviewing my goals twice a day.

I've never been so in tune with what I want. This is great news. And back to the tithing: I think the psychological leap of faith it takes to do that is just the mindfuck I need to get over my literal 'poor thinking'. Sayonara to those thoughts. I don't need you anymore.

 And thus begins a great self experiment. We'll see what my life will be like in six months. Stay tuned.

the happy diet

Sometimes I eat things that aren't entirely where I'm at, and frankly, it's annoying. And example of this could be a soup from your regular deli. Sure it tastes good, probably has some veggie in it, and in fact could be some amazing home cooked masterpiece prepared loving for days. Usually though it's straight out of a can and into the soup dispenser. ugh. This is even funnier when there's a homemade soup sign, and it's just marketing from the soup company.

If I'm eating some that "annoys me" 9 times out of 10 I'm eating something that isn't serving my proverbial higher self. I would posture, for example, that subconscious knows when food is lacking in the quality department by this reaction alone.

Taking all variables of our food into consideration, where diet really comes to is: does this food make me happy? When we reflect at how food affects all aspects of our lives, including health, and how food affects how we feel because of it....then we know where to go with our diets.

Eating a Twinkie, for example, might make your mind happy, but does it make your body happy? What about your soul? Is your soul calling for the Twinkie? Let's be real with ourselves.

True happy food makes us happy in all realms of our Selves. It nourishes our mind-body-spirit. If it doesn't feed one of those human elements, that can we honestly call it happy food? I think not.

So, if I'm happy when I eat, and if I'm happy about WHAT i'm eating, and if I'm happy that I ate, and I feel great all around, then jeez, that's a pretty good gauge that I'm doing something right. That is the part of the "diet" that is usually ignored.

Anyway, this attitude brings super-awareness to the eating process. When we eat with awareness, it's really challenging to EAT CRAP, it's hard to binge eat, or starve ourselves, etc. When we eat with awareness we get what we need from food to thrive.

You are what you eat, and when what you eat makes you happy, then you are happy.

I'd rather be happy.

I came here to cry

This past equinox I spent exploring the wondrous Machu Picchu. Such beauty. The mountains surrounding the ancient ruins are ginormous and covered in trees, and these huge mounds BREATHE. And the river that flows around the base of this whole scene ROARS. This place is powerful.

Somehow I knew when I got here that I would cry. I wasn't sure why, I just knew I would. I had heard countless stories of others experiencing the same thing...feeling overwhelmed at the beauty, and so forth.

And so the tears came. Hiking up WayuPicchu I had a humbling moment. Unable to keep up with my 24 year old counterpart I felt terribly inadequate. For all my athleticism, I was still acclimatizing to the altitude, with a sore hip that decided to make itself felt just that morning. But I still wanted my body to work perfectly - I demanded it. Note to future travellers of Machu Picchu: check your ego at the door.

Red in the face I came to a terrace where my friend Rebecca was waiting, and I sobbed in defeat as I caught my breath. Why do I need to be perfect? What is perfect? My pace is the ultimate pace. Why am I letting the pace of others affect my self worth? Somebody give me a stiff drink.

Later I sat looking out at the valley near the top of the mountain and laugh-cried. It started raining, and it felt like we were being showered with sparkles. How fortunate am I to be here? And....I'm working. I am blessed. Gratitude fills my heart.

Atop WayuPicchu it was electric - our hair standing straight up. We were chased down the mountain by a guard who feared we'd be struck by lightning. Ha: what a way to go.

In the moment though, all that electricity made me feel alive, aware of my own mortality.

What I experienced this day is what could literally be described as the alchemical charging of the human being.

Recommended.

The wound is where the light enters

I've been in Peru for a few days now, and things for me have been up & down. It's challenging on many levels. For example, the altitude makes simple actions like walking up a hill a total chore. Well...I guess walking up a hill can be a chore anyway, but still. An even bigger chore.

There is something about this place. It's like all the crap inside of me is shining in my face. Intense feelings of jealousy and inadequacy and melancholy are bubbling from deep inside of me. Where is all this coming from?

I guess this is a "better out than in" experience, and also emotions worth acknowledging. If I can get to the root of all this discontent, then I can open myself to feelings that are more.....wonderful.

I don't know what else to say, except bring in the light.